Pekudei 5781: Hidden in Plain Sight

One of my favorite Scenes from ET is when the children hide ET. The grownups are coming to look for him.

Where do they hide him? Among the other toys, in plain sight!

In the Zohar G!d glory Hiding in plain sight, and each word of the Torah can be a doorway to the divine.

What precious gems are hiding in plain sight in our lives? How can they become revealed? Pekudei offers an answer in 3 parts 1. Prepare – make something new 2. Wait 3. Pay attention esp to the familiar!

Pekudei, the Israelites have finally completed the Mishkan. It is the final book of Exodus, a happy ending, The Israelites are free in the wilderness, and having left Sinai have prepared a place  for G!d to dwell among them. They have given of their hearts their best gifts, and prepared a beautiful portable sanctuary. and are now creating the garments for Aaron and his descendants: Let’s listen to one verse chapter 40 verse 14 from this week’s

וְאֶת־בָּנָ֖יו תַּקְרִ֑יב וְהִלְבַּשְׁתָּ֥ אֹתָ֖ם כֻּתֳּנֹֽת׃

Then bring his sons forward, put tunic (K’tonet) on them,

This reference to K’tonet is a hyperlink to Joseph – same word for his coat of many colors. There is a passage in the Zohar say that with the days of our lives, we create a k’tonet pasim –garment like a coat of many colors for our souls. Each day we add colors or rip out threads. At the end of our lives, we have created from our lives the garment of our soul. R’ Abraham Heschel.Know that every deed counts, that every word is power…Above all, remember that you must build your life as if it were a work of art.” ―

It is gorgeous to think that as our bodies, skin and organs fray with age, that we our soul’s garment can grow more full and dazzling. So each day we can prepare.  What gifts are we bringing in our lives to prepare our dwelling place for the Divine in our hearts? 

Part of the preparation is to make space, to create a hollow space in our heart, devoid of ego, a space for love.  What is the difference between the golden calf, and the arc of the tabernacle covered and lined with gold, with the golden kruvim forming an arc above? The answer  occurred to me this week: The calf is solid, the arc and cruvim create a space! A space for G!d

2ndly we must wait. In Pekudei the Israelites must wait until the first of Nisan for the official dedication of the Mishkan, when Moses knows the time is right.  Waiting can be hard, it requires discipline and trust. Waiting: psalm 5:4  Hear my voice oh G!d, at daybreak I shall prepare for You , and I wait. …. I wait Zohar asks – what does this mean? Surely all the people of the world hope and wait for the goodness of the blessed Holy One, even the animals of the field

 How do you keep the trust and know spring will come?  I discovered shoots of daffodil that had been preparing under the snow. A second Heschel quote “Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.”

3^rd, pay attention. If we look for it, there miracles hiding in plain sight – in the daffodil shoots, in the eyes of a friend, in G!d appearing in a misty cloud. No more will there be a dramatic sound and lights show like Sinai. Though awe inspiring it didn’t work to keep G!d in our hearts. It was too powerfully scary. So we made what was familiar, a golden calf, took the easy way out – and fear was the pathway to the dark side. One of my favorite quotes from R’ AJH “Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement. ….get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”

Taking G!d with you, it’s how we carry our dreams through the journey of years.  But how can our dreams survive intact through all of our fears? Cut the cloth with love, measure the seams with care, cast jewels of joy on the breastplate and light that flame eternal.

Ki Tisa 5781 My Grandpa Betzalel

This week’s parashah is Ki tisa, which literally means “when you lift up”.one of my favorites to leyn from the Torah. I am in love with its message about second chances, In despair and disappointment  over that little rebellious thing called the Golden calf, Moses’ becomes driven to go up to the mountain and plead “hareini et c’vodecha!” And G!d places Moshe in the cleft of the rock and we receive a new covenant based upon the 13 middot of love and compassion. 

Wondrously I found multiple connections to someone in my own family whose name is featured in this parashah

My beloved  Grandpa’s Hebrew name was  Betzalel who is introduced here are the chief artisan of the mishkan,, and he was chosen as an artist of the mishkan because of Chochma lev, wisdom of the heart. My grandpa was not an artist, he was a CPA, an accountant -also he was wise of heart. Lest you think that’s not a connection

“You shall lift up the heads of the Israelites to count them in a census” Exodus 30:11

So why are we lifting up the heads of the Israelites – in order to count them. And why are we counting them so many times?. Sforno says something fascinating “the need to count human beings stems from the fact that human beings are not the same each time,” I love the idea of lifting up to count, and to recount b/c of the possibility of change

And as I looked for a common thread I realized that my grandpa lifted me up so many times, ki tisa,

 and in his eyes I always counted. 

So, a name, and counting. Another connection is that of second chances. AS Moshe gets a second chance, so our family

His father a refugee from the Kossack draft, his father fled to America, then brought his wife to join. Our families did not give up, life in Romania was so harsh, they came here, where this country gave them all a second chance. He carved out for his family a beautiful life in this new world, and crafted a mishkan for our family based on love and kindness and righteous acts. He persisted through the great depression, courted my Grandma long distance while he went to college, education drawing them out of poverty.

Fourth connection

Also in this parashah is the text for V’shamru – the children of Israel shall keep Shabbat , as a sign of the covenant between G!d and Israel forever, because on six days G!d rested, but on the seventh, Shavat vayinafash, G!d re-souled

And that each Shabbat, every Saturday, my brother and I were dropped off at Grandma and Grandpa’s house -which was an oasis of love.On Shabbat –he would walk home from shul singing, but he couldn’t afford to rest for the entire day. He supported his aging mother, his brother’s family, and assisted my own. But I think that his Shabbat was enough time for him to “nafash” re-soul, for  was a living embodiment of the middot, , loving compassionate, full of grace,

One more thread of connection to this parashah is the k’toret hasamim – the incense.  My grandparents home always smelled amazing, the aromas of baking and cooking helped to create that oasis. It’s known that smell is the sense most intimately connected to memory and emotion. And I’ve passed on the home cooking bug to all 3 of my children.

So Moshe carved two tablets like the ones he smashed, emboldened perhaps by his failure the first time up the mountain, he experiences G!d’s cavod.  He returns from this second chance with a new covenant, his face radiant – keren ohr, rays of light shining from his face. My Grandfather’s face was often radiant with wisdom of the heart!  A blessing: may we know we count for our own chochma lev, valuing that G!d given essence whether our talent is numbers or art or music May the righteous acts we perform be the k’toret hasamim .And may we find in doing them we are lifted up ki tisa – beyond our worries into  perspective and compassion, and may our faces shine knowing we are loved.

Tetzaveh & Purim 5781

Drash for erev Purim

In my classroom I sometimes tell terrible puns,

My grandpa was a great punster

As is my Zohar teacher, Elliot Ginsburg

Why are jokes funny – it’s the unexpected juxtaposition of two things that go together.

That’s’ why Purim is such a radical, spiritual holiday, and maybe why humor is such a great Jewish thing.

Shema Yisrael, listen up, Yah our G!d is one, and ein od – there is nothing else, all is G!d.

Wait, all? The thorns and the rose,  what about the people that disagree with us. I know all about them, I know their story and refuse to listen any more. I did that to a relative in January, “writing him off” I said and Purim is the only thing that brought me around.

What if we could really blur the edges between Mordechcccai and Haman, to see ourselves in the eye of the other, to hold out the possibility that they might change from one nano second to the next.

Jill Hammer writes:  Mordechai represents the desire in us not to bow down to anyone. Haman symbolizes the desire in us for power over others.

A world of peace, war will cease,  I can see you are me in disguise, I’ll wipe the tears from your eyes.

Roberta spoke of this earlier in the week:  I am the pirate, I am the abused one

Dangerous, radical, this one-ness, maybe even funny. But it could lead to redemption.

Yesterday I shared the words of R’ Ariel Burger about his mentor Elie Weisel: the face of Elie Wiesel is a map of the world if the world had been wounded and still managed to laugh.

Ariel went on to talk about having an“an open heart, in spite of everything.”

And Wiesel said “I teach with an open heart, not for moral reasons, but for pragmatic ones.”

Understanding of what our role is here on this planet is why we must embrace opposites, Mordechai and Haman, science and spirit, strength and love,-to hold opposites at views at the same time, to create a chimera, a hybrid, a collage, a synthesis which is balanced as the sephirot of chesed and din are balanced

Embracing Opposites

How do we merge the two?

How do we hold the dissonance

How do we cleave to You

In this eternal dance?

G!d’s love is a rose,

But what of brutal thorns?

what are we to do:

how do they become You?

How do we merge the love of G!d

Holding it with the Judge as G!d?

How can hope for redemption jibe

with history cruel beyond imagination

The soaring mind of Rambam 

with Zohar’s erotic  passion?

Bewildering, inspiring

Answer my burning question.

And face of Elie Wiesel –

Is a map of the world,

if the world had been wounded,

yet still managed to laugh.

How do we merge the two?

How do we hold the dissonance

How do we cleave to You

In this eternal dance?

We need to hold opposites

 in our embrace.

interplay of awe and wisdom

Ignites G!d in this place

Bringing Boundless energy and Compassion

The interplay of awe with wisdom

Ramban alone, science – could mean a cool, cruel, uncaring, though-awe inspiring G!D

With all of its splendor, its draft with lonely (David Wilcox)

How could Zohar – magic bunk according to Gratz – not received Mi Sinai, rather written Ramak, yet how can its beauty and its artistry carry us away on the wings of hope and possibility?

Ariel Burger described the face of Elie Wiesel – a map of the world, if the world had been wounded, yet learned to laugh

How do we merge the two: knowledge of the Holocaust with still maintaining possibilities for hope, laughter, redemption

Imagination is more important than knowledge, for it encompasses all  – Einstein

Understanding of what our role is here on this planet with scientific understanding of our planet and our bodies?

I am convinced it is absolutely necessary to see both – to hold opposites at views at the same time, to create a chimera, a hybrid, a collage, a synthesis which is balanced as the sephirot of chesed and din are balanced.