Miryam's Space

Bo – Come to Pharoah Commands G!d! But Moses and Pharoah fail time and again in their mission to liberate their people And so the final three plagues will descend in ever increasing darkness. The first of these is locusts. According to National Geographic, there are 80 million locusts in a swarm. 80 million buzzing, moving bits of darkness, that devour your food and create another type of darkness: hunger and poverty.

Then the ninth plague, actual darkness, but no ordinary darkness, as we’ll explore. And darkest of all – plague of the slaying of the first born, is courtesy of the Angel of Death.

I have a confession. I hate the darkness, perhaps you do too? I know we need the darkness to appreciate the light, and that death is a part of life. But the idea that G!d is in charge of it – an Angel of Death, is deeply troubling. I have only recently in my (not so young) life come to (sort of) embrace sadness. In part to  R’ Jay Michaelson’s amazing book The Gate of Tears.  It is liberating, and necessary to be able to emerge into the light and joy. I have written before of the animated movie Inside Out and its ode to sadness and ultimately, joy.

I remember lying in bed in total darkness following the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy at 7:00 in the evening, thinking, I get it, G!d’s still here, even in the darkness. But I didn’t get it – I still meant the good and the light. Somewhere in my struggle, a friend recommended R’ Rami Shapiro’s book Amazing Chesed. He likens God to the sun, and G!d’s love to sunlight. The sun shines on us all, and very impressively, I might add, from 93 million miles away bestowing life through photosynthesis and warmth. But the sunshine can blind and burn – the impact or effect is part of the package, of the reality at the core of existence. He writes: Chesed (G!d’s loving kindness) isn’t a reward, it’s reality… You cannot control existence; all you can do is learn to work with it, to navigate God’s grace in such a way as to live graciously with a sense of radical acceptance, abounding compassion and deep tranquility.  

So the awareness of G!d’s grace can be a profound gift, even with the darkness. I add my own spin to this understanding: that G!d is the creative power that comes into play when components of the universe are in supportive relationship with one another: the relationship of chesed.   

Now, back to the plagues. Exodus 10:21

Then YHVH said to Moses, “Hold out your arm toward the sky that there may be darkness upon the land of Egypt, a darkness that can be touched.”  When’s the last time you could touch the dark? This is no ordinary darkness! Moses held out his arm toward the sky and thick darkness descended upon all the land of Egypt for three days.(Sefaria’s translation)  The next verse is telling,  How dark was it? It does not say “so dark you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face.” I transate it: (so dark that..) A person could not see his sibling and a person could not rise off their behinds for three days! And to all the children of Israel, there was light in their settlements.

Nachmanides comments that it’s a magical mist-like darkness. Maybe.  To me it’s clearly a darkness of the spirit. One that doesn’t allow you to see that the human being sitting next to you is your brother or sister. Perhaps further,  the loneliness that results becomes a depression – that doesn’t allow you to get off your bottom.

But the dwellings of the Israelites – well, they were painting their doors to look like wombs. (Thanks R’ Arthur Waskow) They were about to get birthed into a relationship with one another, with the land, and with G!d – to become a new free people. From the darkness they would emerge into the light, redeemed together.

Take away: we can be agents of chesed in the world, channeling that sunlight if we act together in love. And that’s more powerful than 80 million buzzing locusts!