Torah for now

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Be Holy and … Sacrifice Animals?

Short answer: no -sacrifice ego. Carve a space, fill with song and G8d and rise!

We have reached in our weekly readings, the third, central book of the Torah called Leviticus in English, because much the book consists of instructions to the Levites on how to perform the specifics of animal, oil, meal and wine sacrifices. In Hebrew it’s named “Vayira” meaning “and He called”

Leviticus is an amazing book, containing the command to “Be Holy” and to “Love your neighbor as yourself”, not to hold grudges, to “love the immigrant” and many aspects of how to live our lives in just and holy ways (as well as some problematic ones!). In very traditional communities, it is the first book taught to young boys. Yet, the very first thing Moshe (alone) hears are instructions for the technology to draw close to G8d – in the Mishkan (portable sanctuary) as well as in the Ancient Biblical Temple. It is called a Korban, which comes from the room ק ר ב K R V meaning to draw close.This first sacrifice described is burnt up completely – it is an “olah” – an unblemished animal of the herd which is used to kaper/atone for unintentional transgressions. I don’t know about you, but I just assume in the course of any day or week, I will unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings, or create pollution that harms the earth, or forget about G8d when I’m in an argument. The question of “how do I live with myself” is more than just hypothetical. I am currently reading the writings of Rabbi Nachman of Bretzlov, whose quote about the imperative of finding joy graces the home page of Shaarei Simcha’s website. He was the great grandson of the Ba’al Shem Tov, a towering figure, and had very high expectations of himself. Yet he struggled every day to find just a spark of good in his “black soul”, so dark was his self image and so exacting was he of himself. From sparks of brightness from the deeds and commandments he followed, he found bright spots. Yet in these bright spots he still found his motives to be less that pure, but deep within this inner darkness were some G8dly sparks and from those he connected the dots to make a melody ( a nikkud is a dot, a spark of G8d in Hebrew, and also means a musical note) This melody lifted his spirit and allowed him to sing songs of praise. There were no medications for the depression Reb Nachman experienced, and he recognized the danger of being swallowed up by its darkness. Reb Nachman lived in the 1700s, and there also were no animal sacrifices to assuage his guilt. Instead he sacrificed his his ego! From this low place of humility he was able then to ascend to experience great joy (expansive consciousness) and to sing. He worked hard at this each day of his (short) life

All of that being said, the verses found in this week’s reading describing the butchering of animals are hard for many folks to stomach. I do not eat meat (except fish) and usually I avoid these verses, choosing other verses to read instead. However, there is merit in approaching what makes me uncomfortable – and facing it. For Biblical omnivores, sacrifices were the only source of meat. This meant recognizing the loss of life, ensuring a painless slaughter, and prayers to sanctify this transfer of energy. Most of the sacrifices were not burned up, as the olah was, but shared with family and friends, given to the Levites, or the poor, no leftovers allowed. The factory farms that produce most of the meat on this planet for us are ethical and environmental nightmares. The callous consumption of the bodies of once living creatures, reducing them to the point where we never have to think of, or experience where our food comes from results in the increasingly common practice of calling meat “protein” as if it were created as a disembodied nutrient for our benefit! And this all happens on an unimaginably large scale. Compared to the “sacrifice” of a creature, which one seems barbaric to you? Still, I wish there were sacrifices in the Bible that did not involve taking a life. So consider – this system was replaced by sacrificing our words and time and egos almost 2000 years ago. What remained was for Biblical adherents to take these verses metaphorically as most verses should be -taken beyond the simplest meaning all the way to the lessons they teach and the mysteries they contain. As the Medieval commentator Ibn Ezra says:

Far be it from God to require a burnt offering. Scripture clearly states, If I were hungry, I would not tell thee…(Ps. 50:12). On the contrary, it has a secret meaning.

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The (maybe) Happy Ending of Exodus

This past fall I saw the show “Maybe Happy Ending” (mini concert of show) Like the Robots, the Israelites began as slaves and their happy ending is love.

The Book of Exodus ends with the completion of the Mishkan (tabernacle) being in flame at night and covered with a cloud to shade it during the day, meaning that the Divine presence will be with us in these forms. Fire is the terror of Sinai, the inspiration at the burning bush, the manufacture method of the Golden calf, and the instructions to B’tzalel on how to build the Mishkan (sources on Sefaria Here) My Grandfather’s Hebrew name was B’tzalel and one of my children are named for him. The name means “in G8d’s shadow.” There is only an outline in a shadow, and shelter from the blazing sun. I suggest that the fire is the intuition and passion of the artist – The ability to be inspired is certainly a gift. G8d chooses B’tzalel because of this gift. The Holy One then provides a general outline, a material list – just as a shadow casts a general outline of the One who casts it. It is a combination of fire and cloud – of inspiration and of protection from constant demand of creating this beautiful artwork. That protection from demands is introduced at the beginning of this week’s reading Vayakhel meaning “and you shall gather them in community” It specifies, commands you shall not kindle a fire. In contrast to slave labor, we are to have the opportunity to unwind, to refresh.
I tend to do too much. I know this because one of my kids gave me a book as a gift called “The Art of Doing Nothing” But make no mistake, I believe in Shabbos – that palace in time described by Rabbi Heschel. First to just be, then to glimpse beyond myself, and to be “Vayakhel” gathered in a community. To inhale deeply , in medical talk inhale is inspire. It means to be able to lift our heads from the grindstone to see the sparks, the fire cast in the heavens and create things from those patterns using our intuition. In Shaarei simchah, I am yearning to find kindred spirits with whom to sing, and play and imagine.

Intuition and imagination what we can gain from a combination of inspiration and time to do “nothing” B’tzalel creates tapestries of weaving that should be impossible. Talmud Yoma describes the tapestry, with its weave going through to the other side making two images. B’tzalel somehow made a weave so that on the other side appears the image of a different animal: a lion on one side, and a condor on the other. Interestingly, those are 2 of the 3 chimeric animals in Ezekiel’s vision of G8d’s chariot. The ox, oh so similar to the calf is the third. That ability – to hold different ideas together and come up with something new is genius, and not robotic.

So the enslaved Israelites, like robots, first live only to work, that is their only purpose. In the show, when the Robot’s work is done, they are left to die. Instead they connect and find love. This is the purpose of the Mishkan – for People and the Divine to live in a loving relationship, the Mishkan is symbolic of a G8d coming “home’ to us. What is my evidence that the Mishkan is built like us- by and for love? Believe it or not, it’s the copper mirrors donated by the women to build the washbasins for the Levites to wash. In Exodus 38:8 Rashi cites a Midrash (see the Rashi on source page) where Moses doesn’t want to accept the mirrors, as instruments of vanity and sexuality. The Holy One replies that the mirrors are the most precious gifts of all. G8d explains that when Pharaoh command brutal workloads, the women would go to their husbands in the fields, bringing refreshments and their mirrors. Each would tease their husband about who was better looking, until the husband’s passion was aroused. This is how a generation was conceived: in play, in leisure carved impossibly by love. The song of songs is then cited by Rashi here (Song 8:5) “I awakened thy love under the apple-tree”, (referring to the fields where the men worked) This is why we make apple charoset on Passover. And that’s why the book of Exodus has a “Happy Ending”, maybe..

Below: the image of the creatures (they will be chimerized together) of Ezekiel’s vision. The golden calf was a tiny piece of reality that was owned to manipulate. Betzalel’s tapestry had woven a lion on one side and a “nesher” r tcondor on the other from the same weave! complex and unlimited.

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To Teach is the Thing!

Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more ~Isaiah 2:4 I look at scenes of war helplessly this week, from a distance, and wonder “when we will ever learn”?

Have you heard this saying: “Those who can do, and those who can’t teach” I have been teaching most of my life, It is a whole bunch of doing: not everybody can or should teach. In fact, Solomon Ibn Gabirol (11th century Anadalusia, pictured below) indicates five steps toward wisdom: In seeking wisdom: the first step is silence, the second listening, the third remembering, the fourth practicing, the final, the ultimate act of wisdom is only acquired by teaching others! I suggest that Moses (Moshe) is going through these steps to become Moshe Rabbeinu, our great teacher

A quick recap in the action: Just a few chapters ago, the world meets G8d at a mountain called Sinai, which was volcanic and terrifying. The people ask Moshe (Moses) to go up and get the remainder of teachings from G8d. He went. He’s a little late coming back, and the folks make a golden calf. G8d sees this, calls the people “stiff necked”, and offers to start over, wiping the folks out and beginning again with Moshe. Moshe protests, to the point making himself sick (“fever in the bones”) G8d relents, agrees to stick around! Happy ending no? No, everyone’s still upset. The first of many things to happen is the first set of tablets, inscribed by the finger of G8d, are smashed. Moshe leaves the camp. He is alone separated from the community. How do you think he feels? The tablets are smashed on the 17th of Tammuz, in the heat of summer, and Moshe goes up the mountain again on Elul 1st- about 2 weeks later.

What must Moshe have felt like as a leader, a teacher? As soon as he’s (perhaps) a few hours late coming down the mountain the Israelites make a solid gold idol, bow to it and announce “this is your G8d” and dance around it! Ok, Moses went up for a long time without food and water, and satan (the adversary) besets them with an image of Moses death, But still, they are eager to replace Moses, they are scared of “that man” and feel they’re being pious by building an object they have made, own and use to tame the Untame-able, and their fear. They dance!

Often I feel a failure as a teacher, like Moshe. I have taught that the life on earth is precious for most of my life, and feel the world slipping into chaos. And people dance and behave like everything’s ok. What a dissonance! How lonely must Moshe feel! What have you expended your heart and soul into that people just didn’t get? What did you do?

Something that struck me is that this scene on the mountain, where the hero is in despair hidden in a cave on the mountain of G8d happens again in Kings, with a different prophet, this time it’s Elijah. Elijah is so despondent, he asks G8d to take his life. Moshe (Moses) is so despondent, he asks to see G8d’s kavod. In the scene with Elijah on the mountain, he experiences a storm wind that shatters rock (!) and an earthquake and a fire. And G8d is not in these dramatic, powerful things! Where is G8d to be found? In the kol d’mamma daka the voice of soft murmuring – the still, small voice. Eliyahu (Elijah) fails to listen to G8d’s advice, and instead stages a dramatic mountain top contest with, you guessed it, fire! But Moses will evolve to greatness and “gets it” and becomes the consummate teacher taking those steps of Gabirol

  1. Silence – in his loneliness Moshe can know silence. The loneliness functions to arouse desire.
  2. Listening – in his despair, Moshe has the audacity to ask to see G8d’s kavod– honor or glory, or Presence. G8d replies “I will make all my goodness (emphasis mine) pass before you” What he hears is a new covenant to replace the fiery one at Sinai – the 13 Attributes of G8d. Forgiveness and love become an essential part of our experience of G8d. He hears the still small voice and brings this as the gift of words back to the people.
  3. Remembering – midrash says Moshe was instructed by day, and studied at night, filling in the white fire, the oral law and interpretations. Unlike the first set of tablets inscribed by G8d, Moshe must learn and interpret. He would not just parrot what he understood, but teach a method of extrapolating for changing times, first passed down as oral law.
  4. Practice- Moshe returns and his face is radiant with “keren or” horns of light. He veils his face but removes it to teach and to learn from the Holy One
  5. Teach – Moshe Rabbeinu becomes our ultimate teacher. His radiant face reflects his Teacher, and he removes the veil to speak heart to heart/ face to face with the People..

To teach is Holy, but wisdom begins in silence, longing and listening. To love is Divine. Moshe takes one step further. Although G8d says “no one can see my face and live” and the Holy One shields Moshe in the cleft of the rock from seeing the “face”, At the end of the Torah it will say that Moshe saw G8d face to face. “From the fire to the limit to the wall” sang Chaka Khan to love, the redemptive force that holds the world together. watch scenes of war on my television helplessly and pray that we remember that golden rule. May this be G8d’s will.

Much honor to Rabbi Aviva Gotlieb Zornberg, for her book on Exodus The Particulars of Desire (the whole series of books is wonderful), and from whom I deepened my understanding of this parashah.

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On Eagle’s wings: Torah of the hands.

This week in Torah we read about the encounter on a mountain in the desert of Sinai.

I have a favorite verse in the lead up to revelation, Ex 19:4

“You yourselves have seen
what I did to Egypt,
how I bore you on eagles’ (or more likely condor’s/vulture’s) wings and brought you to me”.

Yes, aquatic birds, such as ducks and swans and coots do carry their nestlings on their backs. Condors, hawks and eagles don’t literally. (Check out these sweet images from Animals Daily). It does remind me of the trips across the ocean many of our grandparents took, and many are still taking, to the safety of foreign shores for the sake of their children The term for eagle’s wings in Hebrew is kanfei n’sharim. The word kanaf is found in the third paragraph of the Shema, where we are commanded to place a thread of blue on the fringes of the kanaf! Birds don’t carry their young through the sky, but our tallit, with its “wings” just might, if the journey is a spiritual one. Uplifted by feeling the Presence of the Holy One of Blessing, we can live this beautiful metaphor. The fact that it’s poetic metaphor the words: “you have all seen”. Our eyes can fool us, we will soon see the thunder at Sinai.

And indeed, according to Midrash (Mehilta Ex 15:2) the least of the slave girls who crossed the Sea of Reeds saw more than the prophet Ezekiel did in his crazy psychedelic visions!* Following this intimate encounter, the folks who experienced Redemption at the sea travel for three days to camp in a place called Refidim. There they complain to Moshe of thirst, and sarcastically ask if there weren’t enough graves in Egypt that he had to lead them to this wilderness. Their complaints have been seen as lacking not water, but Torah of their hands! According to Or HaChayim, (Morocco, 1700s) Refidim is an allusion to רפיון ידים R’fiyon yadayim, or “slacking of the hands” from Torah. What kind of Torah do you do with your hands? Perhaps caring for one another! They have not yet arrived at Sinai, so have not actually heard Torah revealed yet.

We have been carried on The Wings of G8d, protected, borne skyward, inspired. But we will die of thirst if we don’t walk the talk. We have reached Sinai, but there are warnings: “don’t climb the mountain, or even touch it” Why should there be limits on connecting to the Holy One? Midrash says we were all standing at Sinai, not just those standing there that day, but those not even born yet. We all heard the voice of G8d speak the Ten Important Things, or at least the first letter, and we all had the synesthetic experience: All the people saw the thunder! We were all amateur prophets. But in the same way that Jacob never climbs his ladder, we are not to climb Sinai. There must be limits on the mountain perhaps because we’d get stuck there and forget to care for the widow, orphan and the immigrant. The Torah of the hands is crucial, and accepting limitations is hard to grapple with. When Moshe burns with the fire of inspiration at the beginning of his journey, the miracle of the “burning bush” is that it is not consumed or destroyed by the burning. The world needs a lot of healing. There is a lot to be fearful of and angry at. Please take good care to not let these feelings consume. Perhaps the joy of flight can, balanced by the “Torah of the Hands” Can help.

*An amazing modern midrash gives voice and name to this “least of the slave girls” in Rabbi Jill Hammer’s book Sisters at Sinai

Source page on Sefaria

A condor in flight. A Nesher in Hebrew is similar. This is a California condor, which is, G8d-willing, being brought back from the very brink of extinction by

https://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/14740-vulture

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Bo – come to Pharoah’s house

Puzzlingly, Moshe was asked, not to go to Pharoah, but to come. I did not go to my mother’s funeral/ levaya rathercame home full circle and accompanied my mother home: the Hebrew word levaya means to accompany. I come home to love, to music, to childhood, the four year old within me that loves mommy with all her heart. Bo, the name of the Torah reading for this week Begin’s with the eighth plague, that of locusts who are carried in by the east wind and take away all the nourishment that the hail did not destroy. Bo is spelled Bet, Aleph, the first two letters of the Aleph bet arranged backwards. I always wondered why this reading begins with the eight plague. Perhaps this: seven is completion, and represents the the seven lower sephirot, or aspects, of the Holy One of Blessing. The number Eight, as I’ve discussed before is extraordinary nature of what lies beyond this completion. The final sephirot are the upper ones, beyond understanding, mysterious, which began creation according to Zohar,* our book of Mysticism. Consider that each plague undoes creation in one aspect, until order is undone piece by piece. The eighth sephirah is Bina, understanding Let me digress, I will come back to the undoing of wisdom. Another thought, According to Meyor Einayim, it was Torah that was in exile (Sources here) Pehaps the linking of the aspects of G8d, the sephirot is to bring back (to come) G8d, into that land, undoing Egypt, replacing the Powers that be with those of G8d -“great kindness, truth, compassion…” (from the 13 attributes of G8d) which were in exile.

The “hardening” of the heart of the tyrant is described with three different verbs, and begins with Pharaoh hardening his own heart. In Exodus 10:1, getting into the rut of abuse happens. On an episode of Hidden Brain, Shankar Vidantam interviewed a doctor who helped athletes obtain steroids illegally. The first time was so hard, but it was easier to break the law each time. By now, the tyrant must know that his people were suffering, half of their grain and most of their animals were gone from disease and hail. This time, Exodus 10:1 tells, explicitly, and in the first person, G8d tells, “I will make Pharaoh’s heart and those of his advisors heavy (stubborn). Pharaoh must overcome fear and common sense to not let the Israelites free, and to accept the consequences of the rest of their food being destroyed. The locusts, which I’ve discussed before here, darken the land . The verb in this verse does not mean harden, rather Kaf, vet, Dalet, which means to “Make heavy” but also shares a root with “to honor” The tyrant was able to ignore his compassion and his fear and to choose instead to follow only the desires of his own heart, his pride, his ego.  “The beginning of wisdom is “yirat HaShem” the awe/fear of G8d.(Proverbs 9:10) This means fear of doing wrong, or of taking the consequences of your foolish headstrong actions. This “making heavy of the heart” is an undoing of wisdom- the only way Pharaoh would behave in such an unreasonable and dis-compassionate manner had to be a Divine act in Biblical eyes. (Wisdom is the 8th of the sefirot, Locusts are the 8th plague!)

Why does G8d strengthen and honor and harden the hearts of Pharaoh and his advisors, but not those who are suffering, the Egyptian populace? Don’t their hearts need protection- don’t our hearts need help when we are frightened? Instead the Holy One inclines the hearts of the populace toward the slaves in compassion, and many join them in escaping Egypt. When the Israelites ask for reparations, and gifts, the hearts of the Egyptians, which had felt such trauma were softened enough to be generous, and start this beginning nation with resources.

*IT emanated from the most concealed of all concealed things (Keter/crown)- from the secret of the Endlessness Light – took a shapeless form. THE SPARK (Chochmah/wisdom) was then inserted into THE CENTER OF a circle (Bina/understanding) ~Zohar 1:1

Bo – come. Today I came home, approaching that tyrant, “Death” by thanking the Holy One of Blessing for life. Death’s heart is truly hard, but only when my heart is softened can I find the riches of music, love and blessing.

Eulogy to my mother, Gloria, child of Charley and Bertie

Midrash explains there are three souls present at each conception, the father, the mother and Shechinah the indwelling presence of G8d. A personal prayer, O Holy One of blessing thank you, Modah ani, for bringing me into the world through my Mom. She was Gevuradich a strong woman, a woman of valor. The gifts she gave me were priceless – my own strength and resilience, and the ability to be who I am.

Thank you for accepting me as I was, and my kids. You never tried to mold me in your image or force me to be anything but myself, with one exception, Music. I had to sneak listening to the Beatles with a transistor radio under the covers Instead you immersed me in the rich and beautiful worlds of jazz and classical music, thank you!

Thank you for showing me how to pursue something you loved passionately- with all your heart and soul, and all! You weren’t just a baseball fan, you were dubbed the Queen of Queens, by Steve Overmyer, and honored by the Mets, by throwing out the first pitch. You didn’t just love mystery novels, you reviewed a thousand of them in a published blog and got to meet the authors.

And when the crucible of time and disease melted you down to your essence it was pure love and music. We had a language we could communicate with beyond any words: For you I leanred the lyrics to many songs in the great American song book When I sang with you we could access joy together. The last words my mother spoke to me were written by Irving Berlin 101 years ago, I share them with you now, one last time. Song: Always

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Journeys, Joy and “Smichah”

A few days ago, I became a Rabbi and a Hazzan, (Cantor). It was an incredibly joyful experience, surrounded by family and kindred spirits. Here is the recording. (the first 15 minutes is music). I had few expectations of what it would feel like, however, because my outlook is and has been: “it’s the journey which is the destination”. This ceremony, these titles were never destinations in my heart, it was the learning, the elevating of self, which enables elevating of others. These experiences in the 9.5 years since I began learning through the Aleph Ordination program, and the internships to become who I am now has been profoundly, surprising and life changing. I never want to stop learning, and yearning toward G8d, toward justice, toward self improvement, and being an enabler of healing, joy, comfort and uplift for others. The ordination ceremony is meant to be a moment of transformation, from a layperson to a clergy person. It involves the laying on of hands, “Smichah” in Hebrew, from teacher to students, while proclaiming the ancient formula. (It reminded me a bit of the Vulcan mind meld: “now your thoughts are my thoughts” but in reverse!) Now this unbroken lineage included me – I was a part of a chain going back through time, that included all of my former study partners who had already passed through the portal, and our ancestors. I was also bonded to this group of 17 candidates who had studied together or sang together over the years, crafted this service. We had even written a prayer together, been nervous, and received blessings together. And to the incredible teachers and mentors who had paved my way and encouraged me. THAT was the transformation, not individually who I was, but what I had become a part of beyond myself.

For those who asked, this is the source of Shabbat Minchah drash, on this week’s Torah reading “Va’era” and the 65 words that I spoke during the Rabbi’s comments were drawn from.

I am a now Rabbi and a Hazzan, and hope, like Esther to know that I’ve been put in this position to influence things for the good.

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Joy is required: Who are these?

The setting is Ancient Egypt. Father Yaakov (Jacob) has come to Egypt and spent the past 17 years finally “settling” down. He was denied this peace for the prior 20 years while he was in mourning for his beloved son, Yoseph (Joseph) Midrash says that G8d’s presence left him, and he had no power of prophecy during this time. Only when father and son are reunited does the presence return: in other words when joy returns, so does G8d’s presence. How important is joy? Psalm 100 describes the joy of gratitude, as Yaakov must have felt

“A psalm of gratitude; Rejoice for G8D, all the earth;(2) serve the Holy in gladness;come into the Divine presence with shouts of joy!”

This week’s reading happens on Yaakov’s death bed. Joseph is coming to see him. Joseph his favorite son, now looks and acts Egyptian. One Midrash tells that it is Yoseph’s Egyptian wife, Poti Phera, that sends him to his father to bless the sons. Yaakov is told his sons and grandsons are visiting, and the elderly prophet sits up in his bed. He recaps some of his inspirations (G8d speaks to him) and heartbreaks (Rachel died on me!). Then the surprising question when his grandsons are brought close: “Who are these?” Tradition is that Yaakov’s been hanging out with his grandsons studying Torah for the past 17 years. Is it possible he doesn’t recognize them?

Rashi says he’s balking due to evil kings that will come from their descendants,

Or haChayim adds that he asks to arouse feelings of love in his son before the blessing.

I recognize the heartache of Dementia in conversations with my Mom who hasn’t knows her grandchildren in awhile. The text does say that Yaakov was ill. Midrash says it was the first time an illness preceeded death in the Torah, and that Yaakov actually asks for this to prime his death bed speech.

In last week’s reading both Yehudah (Judah) and Yoseph define who they were.”Anochi E’er’venu “I will be his pledge” says Yehuda, Ani Yoseph “I am Yoseph!” exclaims the Egyptian vizeir! and (See Vayigash) and everything changes. In Genesis G8d asks Adam “Where are you?” Ayecha in Hebrew. G8d asks Kayin, “Where is your Brother?” Perhaps Yaakov is asking to see how his son will define his grandsons. The prelude to blessing the grandsons mentions G8d, and a homeland now abandoned, not just by Yoseph, but by the entire family saying: (Gen 48:3) God Shaddai was seen by me in Luz, in the land of Canaan; he blessed me” Perhaps this is a test of the bond between Father, son and G8d. If it’s a test, Joseph passes, because grandfather does bestow the blessing, gifting them his angels of protection, and a sense of family rootedness (Gen 48:16) What is Yoseph’s response? In Genesis 48:9 “Yosef said to his father: They are my sons, whom God has given me here.” In this land there is G8d too. In this land the blessing of children.

“Then Yaakov called his sons and said:
Gather round, that I may tell you
what will befall you in the aftertime of days.”

Rashi: He wanted to reveal the end of days and the Divine Presence left him, so he began saying other matters

Thirteen very different sons. How can they make a unity, a family? Mi Eileh? Who are these – plural, this is not one-ness? Do I recognize the people my children have grown up to be? Can family unity be restored? It must be hard, when Yaakov looks at his sons and sees the violence and betrayal of his older sons, he can no longer be joyful. There is a happy ending (even though Yaakov dies in this week’s reading) As we move from genesis 49: 7-8, curses become blessings. and by verse

28: All these are the tribes of Israel, twelve,
and this is what their father spoke to them;
he blessed them,
according to what belonged to each as blessing, he blessed them.

Yaakov’s sons are mythical, they have animal logos, they are the 12 signs of the zodiac in many ancient synagogues. Together the 12 zodiac signs make a complete year, as together the 12 tribes make a nation. Out of many One? E pluribus unim “out of many one” Where is it written? On the capital rotunda .. Opposite George Washington is the banner E Pluribus Unum, Latin for “out of many, one”… Where else? Never has the American or Jewish world been so fractured in my lifetime. Parents and children are at odds: conflicts over Israel are tearing families apart. I pray we can look beyond theses obstacles to the good heart and soul of our family. May joy and blessing return. They are what will get us through to difficult times, to the future.

Source page on Sefaria

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Speaking Truth to Power

A New calendar new year approaches. Perhaps we think about New Years resolutions, What are some of yours? Can we really change? What must the foundation be for our change? Perhaps theses 3 steps: Admit our truth, our imperfections, learn from experience, speak: redefining who we are out loud.

What about bigger changes of making the world a more just and kind place?

That also requires recognizing our common errors, and speaking truth to power. This week’s news saw truth under attack. A news story by 60 minutes was pulled that was so painful to watch. Climate change science is being removed from government websites. Everything is not ok. To the voice in me that says “People don’t change, and the powers that be are too strong: why should we even try?” Torah comes at this time of year to show us, yes, people, can and do change. And when they present their truth from the heart, everything can change.

This week we read the climax of the Joseph saga in Parashat Vayigash in Hebrew, meaning “and he drew close”. It is the face off between two brothers: Yehuda in one corner, and Yoseph/ tzaphenat in the other

Yoseph

In Gen 41:45, last week’s parasha:

And Pharaoh called Yosef’s name: Tzafenat Pane’ah/The God Speaks and He Lives,
and he gave him Asenat, daughter of Poti Fera, priest of On, as a wife.
And Yosef’s [influence] went out over the land of Egypt (Gen 41:45)

Pharoah gives him a name and makes a match-a wife, things a parent does

Tzaphenat dresses like Pharoah, speaks Egyptian, pretends not to understand Hebrew, has a divining cup, He names his firstborn Menashe/He-Who-Makes-me Forget,
meaning: God has made-me-forget all my hardships, all my father’s house. (Gen 41:51) Joseph even enslaves people, they are forced to give up everything, becoming serfs in exchange for the rations he has saved in preparation for the famine. He enslaves one of his own brothers, Simeon, until they return with beloved Benjamin. Even in power, he does not send a messenger to his father!

What about brother Judah? He’s the one who said “let’s sell him as a slave” He is not the firstborn, Reuben is, Yet it is he that steps forward in this, the climax of the Joseph story. This approach was not something the old Yehudah could do! The one who guarded his terrible secret, and had no empathy for either his brother, or his father, who was inconsolable thinking Yoseph had died. Yehudah contains the letters of G8d in his name יְהוּדָה YHUDH. He is the one tribe of Israelites whose kingdom survived, named the Lion by his father’s blessing.

Yehuda approaches Yoseph who he believes Is the grand vizier of Egypt, akin Pharoah: he draws near. Proverbs 27:19

(19)As face answers to face in water,So does one’s heart to another’s.

Emmanuel Levinas teaches us that only by recognizing the face of the other can humanity survive. I always thought it was a drawing near in love, by appealing to love to reunite a family. But the commentators knew differently. This is a chutzpadick approach, this took courage, this was war!

See Rashi 44:18:3, S’forno and Or haChayim 44:18:1

Yehuda’s speech is found Here

Here is my aha moment, reading the comments this time around:

Judah’s approach to Pharoah foreshadows Moses’ approach to a different Pharoah 400 years later, a Pharoah who did not know Yoseph. That Judah’s redefining himself accroding to his personal truth is what leads to Yoseph defining himself: I am Yoseph! Od avinu Chai: does my father live?

Judah has shown us that change is indeed possible. But for his internal change to change outside conditions, he must reveal his truth, and have the courage to go Face to Face with the powers that be. Those powers happen to be his brother Joseph in a deep masquerade. Judah’s truth reaches down to pull the truth from Joseph’s deep well. Each brother defines himself by his words. May we define ourselves according to our deepest truths, and bring about the change needed in our fractured world

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Vayetzei: A Ladder BETWEEN Heaven and Earth

There is a concept of Torah being written in black fire upon white fire. The black letters are limited, but in the spaces between the letters, there is unlimited meaning in connecting words and concepts to one another. An example of this white fire can be found in making meaning from Jacob’s ladder as a relationship between heaven and earth, and in the words, finding the relationship between twin brothers. In Genesis, Chapter 28, Jacob, in fleeing Canaan, finds G8d in a geographic place between Canaan and Haran. There is a ladder between Heaven and earth, and Jacob realizes G8d is in this liminal space. He later sees G8d in the face of his brother, and in re-establishing this relationship is able to return home to his fate and calling. Even his new name Yisrael is a relational one: Yisrael, meaning to wrestle with beings Divine and Human

SONG: BETWEEN, 2011

Linked on sound cloud above.

Written as commentary to the Biblical portion including Jacob’s Ladder: Between, 2013.

Take my hand and help me climb

I’ve been in the depths below

Why am I here among all these broken hearts

OK, it’s my own heart,

Has been so hollow, I’ll admit

How can I climb,

Help me see beyond

My own four walls

Chorus:

Life happens in the space between;

And there are Angels going up and going down.

You are that angel;

Helping me to see the way to climb free.

Every rung is made of love and gravity;

Helps me to return the favor done me;

Jacob, he ran to the wilderness

Leaving behind security

In the quest for superiority

He made his brother his enemy

But Jacob don’t you know, that it’s brothers that we need

 Maybe between is all we ever have:

Between heaven and earth, between death and birth;

Between you and me, G8d’s presence rests;

Helping us find our way in the wilderness.

Jacob never climbs the ladder in between

So did he miss the point of his great dream?

G8d was in this place though it did not seem

It would take struggling so supreme

To help him realize that dream

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If this is true, Why Do I Exist?

My favorite question asked by anyone in the Torah happens in this week’s Torah reading, and it’s asked by a woman, the matriarch Rivkah (Rebecca). Source page: Here In Genesis chapter 25, although Yitzhak (Isaac) truly loved Rivkah, she was barren. They pray together, and Rivkah conceives twins, amazing. The word for prayer in this verse is וַיֵּעָ֤תֶר Vayeatar meaning to plead. And then, trouble. Vayitrotzetzu, the babies were struggling, even crushing one another in the womb. On her own, without Yitzhak, perhaps because he can’t handle the truth due to the residue of the Akedah, she goes “lidrosh” et Havayah, to seek G8d. She asks the question: im kein, lama zeh anochi “if it’s like this, why do I exist?” The word “lidrosh” or seek, is the same as in Drash, or midrash, a true seeking. Because she is a woman, the biblical commentators suggest she is simply in pain, and it’s her first pregnancy, and she seeks an oracle. But Rivkah is the spiritual descendant of Avraham, choosing her pathway to follow Avraham’s G8d. The patriarchs are thought to have spoken to G8d directly. We now have Torah, the age of prophecy is supposedly dead.

Midrash b’reishit Rabba asks a similar question. G8d says “let us create humans in our image” speaking to the angels. They are arguing about it, and G8d hurls truth to the ground, and behind their backs creates humans in love and longing, but with free will. Around 2000 years ago, Hillel and Shamai debate whether humans should have been created. After three years of debate, their answer is no, but we’re here, so let’s do what we can. It was a brutal time, violence was pervasive, and human inhumanity gives makes us question whether.

I propose that Rivkah’s question is exactly what the plain sense says: If it’s like this, If I am to bring violence into the world, two brothers already trying to crush one another, what’s the purpose of my life? And also in the plain sense, that she directly sought out the Holy One, no intermediaries.

But what of G8d’s answer: “two nations are in your womb” and it’s unclear whether the older twin will serve or be served! That’s not answering the question! As Jack Nicholson’s character says in the movie “a Few Good Men” “my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives” and of course, “you can’t handle the truth”

I am studying Maimonides, preface to the Guide to the perplexed, where he says that G8d and truth are like a golden apple surrounded by a silver filigree. G8d and truth are so far beyond us, so powerful that we cannot view or understand it directly. Even in the Biblical times when humans talked directly to G8d, the Holy One answered in terms we could handle. For Maimonides, and many observant Jews, Torah and halachah are the silver filigree. For scientists, the process of experimentation is the silver filigree. If you are not spiritually inclined what’s your structure for finding the most important truths? What question would you ask? Is it possible to talk to G8d directly today? How do we receive answers? Shabbos blessings!

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