Torah for now

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Channels for Blessing

This week’s reading in “The Torah of our Lives” is Naso. I spoke about Hair on Thursday morning. HERE is a post I wrote about Hair, the mystery of why a Nazarite is not to cut their hair.

My middle child was born with a shock of black infant hair. So was her baby! In both cases it wore/ is wearing off, and new, somewhat lighter hair will grow in. This child was the smallest of the three, and I used to recite a stanza of a William Blake poem to her each afternoon as I gave her a sponge bath on the countertop in her carrier.

Years later, remembering these scenes from her infancy, I blended these words into the Priestly Blessinng, the Birkat haCohanim, which is also from this week’s Torah reading, immediately following the laws of the Nazir: Numbers 6:24 Sources here

(22) יהוה spoke to Moses:(23) Speak to Aaron and his sons: Thus shall you bless the people of Israel. Say to them: (24) יהוה bless you and protect you! (25) יהוה deal kindly and graciously with you! (26) יהוה bestow [divine] favor upon you and grant you peace! (27) Thus they shall link My name with the people of Israel, and I will bless them.

When my children were little and growing, I would channel these blessings, as a parent is entitled to do, even if you’re not a kohen, a descendant of Aaron. Notice in verse 27, it is not YOU blessing children, nor even the children of Aaron, but you become a conduit for G8d’s blessings. People do not receive enough blessings. I have learned from Rabbinic Pastor Leon Olenick (pic and bio below) how to give people blessings, at a class he presented at the Renewal conference Ohalah. What an amazing feeling to be a blessing channel. I just really listen intently to what folks say when I ask them what they need most from the universe right now, close my eyes, and open my heart.

I dedicate this to my child, and the child in us all

PRIESTLY BLESSING by William Blake and Miryam Wolfson and Numbers 22

To see the world in a grain of sand

and Heaven in a Wildflower

to hold infinity in the palm of your hand, eternity in an hour

when I look at you, my child, I vow to try to keep you safe

I pray that G8d will be with you always

Y’varech’cha Ad*nai v’yish’merecha, May G8d bless you and keep you

Ya’er Ad*nai panav eilecha v’chunecha May G8d face you and grace you

Yisa Ad*nai panav eilecha, v’yasem l’chah Shalom

May the light of G8d shine down upon you ____name____

May you be blessed with wholeness, with peace

May you be blessed and bless others!

Leon Olenick

Leon Olenick

Leon Olenick is a Board Certified Chaplain, Rabbinic Chaplain, Author and Spiritual Counselor. He coordinates Adat Ha’araphel, Congregation of the Cloud, a Jewish Renewal Community, which meets on-line the second and forth Shabbat morning of each month. Ordained by Reb Zalman z’l, Leon’s wish is to create a ruach ha kodesh, a holy experience for all. He is married to Judaic artist Jackie Olenick, has 3 children and nine grandchildren. (as of 2 years ago)

Leon and I co-lead services with other renewal voices live-streaming on the second and fourth Shabbat mornings of each month.

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Bamidbar/Numbers a Generation of Fear and Love

Kol ha-Olam kulo Gesher tzar m’od, v’haikar lo hit’pached klal ~Rebbe Nachman of Bratzlov. There are times in our lives when “all the world is a narrow bridge, and the essence is not to en-fear ourselves”

These are difficult times. The ikar the essence is not to make ourselves crazy with fear. In our cycle of readings, we begin the book of Nsumbers this week. This book is called BaMidbar in Hebrew, meaning “in the wilderness”, which is where we will be wandering for next 40 years. These years are a time of love as well as conflict between God and the Redeemed formerly enslaved ones – Yisrael, a crucible in which a people emerge, but only a new generation. The conflict is born of fear in this new book of the Torah – fear of the wilderness full of snakes, fear of thirst and hunger, and fear that they were too small, as small as “grasshoppers”. And out of fear came all the woes of the generation of the wilderness –Beloved by G8d, yet doomed to die there. As Yoda said “fear is the pathway to the dark side” (the rood yada in Hebrew means to know) There are several links from Bamidbar to the upcoming Festival of Shavuot, which celebrates Revelation at Sinai -which is in the wilderness! Even with all the complaining and dangers, it was also the place of love between the Holy One and the nascent people of Yisrael – the G8d wrestlers, dancers and singers. That connection is seen in Song of Songs, with the echo of a “banner of love”

Source page linked Here

It was a particularly harsh wilderness, there would be great strife, and great love in this wilderness. There is no worship of the blessed Holy One except from darkness, and there is no good except from evil. When a person enters on knowing an evil way and then abandons it, the blessed Holy One is exalted in His glory. Therefore the perfection of all is good and evil together, ascending subsequently as good;…This is perfect worship.~Zohar

Jeremiah (31:2-3) tells that although they too flawed for a covenant with the land the Israelites are beloved as does Rashi (1:1) explains the counting of the Israelites. But perhaps there was no way of becoming who we are without the challenge of the wilderness

The circular arrangement of tribes around the mishkan/tabernacle following the counting is the shape of aspiration – for all to be equal in the circle dance, with G8d at the center of their lives. The banners arranged by their father’s house – many have animal logos, perhaps reflecting the zodiac. The four directions are mentioned, with Shechinah/ Malchut (see zohar) and G8d centered aspiration. These echo many of the shapes in the ancient mystical Book of Formation/ Sefer Yetzirah and represent the ideals of forming a new people.

In addition, the circular arrangement of tribes under their banners is an attempt to take control of the unknown and the wilderness. By numbering each man of fighting age we can seem formidable, by this beautiful arrangement take down some of the fear provoked by a wilderness.

Governments today, just as the ancient Israelites did are responding to fear, stress and doubt, causing them tostray very far from those ideals. In our time as in Biblical times, we hold out hope that a new generation is better prepared to approach and fulfill those ideals. If we don’t let our fears of the other, the unknown wilderness get the best of us.

On Shavuot we also read from Ezekiel’s psychedelic vision of G8d. Ezekiel’s chariot –merchavah in a hyperlink from Shavuot to the banners in this week’s reading.Below: Ezekiel’s Vision according to Matthaeus (Matthäus) Merian (1593-1650) –

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WP-en. There attributed to site http://www.biblical-art.com/., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=4164018

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Whisper to us our limitations.

From “Defying Gravity” from the show “Wicked”

I’m through accepting limits

‘Cause someone says they’re so

Some things I cannot change

But ’til I try, I’ll never know…

But what about the limitations of someone with a physical disability, or the ultimate limitation of mortality?

This week’s Torah Reading, is “Emor” meaning “speak”. The root of the word is repeated three times in very short order. The word is not the only way to command “speak!” and its repetition has drawn commentary. For me the most interesting is from Mei HaShiloach (Rabbi Mordechai Leiner, 1800s) that “emor” means to whisper to the Kohanim who have these limitations put upon them.

“Emor – say,” means speaking softly.. G8d enjoins us to whisper into the ears of the servants of G8d that they should not hold grudges when it comes to G8d’s stern judgment, for the intentions of G8d are always in order to improve (sources here)

I love the chesed in this interpretation of how a person should speak limitations to another, and how G8d does!

This reading, like much of Leviticus, contains many laws that only pertain to the Kohanim, the Priests who offer other folk’s offerings to the Holy One of Blessing. So, why read them? Perhaps because we are meant to be a “nation of priests and a holy people”. Also, there are still descendants of Aaron, who will not go to a cemetery. The reading begins by telling the Kohanim not to approach the body of one who has died unless it’s a very close relative – it turns the Kohen tamei –ritually unprepared. Life is the the most magical thing we have, it is the gift that ties us to our Creator. On an emotional level, this law makes sense. Some illnesses also makes a priest tamei. However, does this taboo keep us from mitzvot of comforting the dying and honoring the dead? More importantly does it make the death of loved ones something that we see as unnatural, and make us unable to deal with it? In my childhood, I was shielded from death and dying. My grandpa left me in the car to visit his mother in the nursing home, and when she died, I was not taken to the funeral (or any funerals!) Many years later, I was pregnant and told not to come to the cemetery for his funeral. I was rarely taken to a shiva, memorial in the home of the bereaved. Mortality is the ultimate blow to our aspiration of being “unlimited”

Chapter 21 of Leviticus goes on to say to those who have a moom –a blemish on the symmetry of their body, or a birth defect or a broken limb. As Chapter 21 of Leviticus continues, it tells the Kohen that he is never to approach the Altar with offerings – in other words -not to be allowed do the job he was born into. These verses deeply trouble me, They imply that these men were less worthy. Does this come from the idea that beauty is gifted to those worthy, and that “ugliness, disability, deformity” are reflections of being less worthy intrinsically? I once saw a version of Cinderella on a kid’s show on Reading Rainbow, which showed the “ugly stepsisters” as being beautiful in the beginning. With each cruel act, their faces and bodies would twist until they appeared “ugly” toward the end of the play. The tale of Cinderella is problematic in so many ways, (a discussion for another time) but this move was brilliant! The real test of “beauty” is kindness, nothing else really matters. We are all of us in the Divine image, in all our fabulous diversity, all of our abilities. (See “Twilight Zone” episode “Eye of the Beholder”) In a discussion of politics with a cousin today, he revealed that selects his candidate in part based upon “are they attractive enough to win?” According to Maimonides, Guide to the Perplexed –Sources here –

The multitude does not estimate man by his true form but by the perfection of his bodily limbs and the beauty of his garments.

This is as true today as it was for Maimonides a thousand years ago, and in Biblical Times a couple of thousand years before that. When will we ever learn?

Rabbi Julia Beltzer, in her book “Loving Your Own Bones”, is disabled, and very troubled by these verses as well. When challenged to explain this verse says “I don’t justify it”. She explains, that it is a reflection of the deep prejudice against disabled individuals, and an attempt to assign these values to G8d.

Speaking from personal experience as someone who is at times, medically disabled, I did defy those limitations/gravity. It took me some time, but I overcame the limits that my situation said were true, and I took the leap to apply to, and complete Rabbinic and Cantorial school. I trusted my instincts, trusted in my faith, and leaped. Yet I know there will be limits, that I am not unlimited. When I am afraid, I lean upon my faith, pray for G8d to give me the wisdom to define and respect those limits. I hope these limits are whispered with kindness, but clearly enough to understand. I respect my limits enough to have stopped driving (no, I don’t miss it). But in offering songs of Praise to the One, and being a channel of the wisdom of our tradition to others, for now, I’m unlimited!

What are your limits? How do you know until you’ve tried “defying gravity?” If they are offerings to holiness, to kindness, to truth, may you defy gravity!

AI is not used to create any of my writings ~MW

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What does it Mean to Aspire to Holiness?

This week’s Torah reading is a double one, Acharei Mot/ Kedoshim: After the Death/Holiness. After the death refers to the deaths of Aaron’s two eldest sons, Nadav and Avihu. As discussed previously I disagree with the interpretation that they were punished for some minor deviation from the rules. Rather they were holy men who died before their time. Their alien fire, aish zarah, was not choosing life, but choosing a pathway of union with G8d that led to their death. Sometimes these two Torah portions are read separately, sometimes together, depending upon the year (if there’s a leap month they are separated) This year they are read together. When I worked my clinical Pastoral work in hospice and when my mother recently passed, I wondered if there is any connection between “after the death” of someone and Holiness. There is an intense and mind-raising awareness about accompanying someone on the brink of life. We are more aware, of time and mortality and what lies beyond. The work for Holy in Hebrew is Kadosh, what what does “Holy” mean? and what does it mean to aspire to become holy? Leviticus 19 urges us to do exactly this: Kedoshim t’hyu ki kadosh ani YHVH You shall be holy because I, G8d am holy. There are many uses of this word in the Bible, including in the deaths of Aaron’s two sons (Sources here) Leviticus 10:3 Then Moses said to Aaron, “This is what G8D meant by saying: Through those near to Me I show Myself holy, And gain glory before all the people. What can that mean – is it possible that the deaths of these two makes G8d holy! Spoiler alert: this is a pathway that is not endorsed, so their passion is termed an aish zara an “alien fire”.

The word Kadosh is used for the dedication of spouses during a wedding – Kiddushin, a blessing to do a mitzvah asher kiddishanu b’mitzvotav, and even for Temple cult prostitutes k’deshah (which is forbidden in Deuteronomy) We are in the period between Passover and Shavuot when we count the days of the omer, Each day can be used for self reflection, for self improvement. But in the mystical tradition it’s far more intense than this. I discovered a text by Hayyim Vital, a student of R’ Isaac Luria in the 17th century called “Sha’arei Kedushah” meaning Gates of Holiness. Each of these days he spent in isolation, just him and G8d, each was a gateway to connection or union with the One if he were repentant enough, denied his ego enough. In mystical tradition only Moses was able to enter all 50 gates. (there are 7 weeks of 7 days, and then the Holiday of Shavuot). When you are on the verge of fainting, wrote Vital, you then offer this prayer:

“Master of all worlds, to you it is revealed and known that I am not engaged in this for my own glory, but rather for the glory of Your name, for the glory of the oneness of your being, so that I will know You, how to serve You and bless Your name. Enlighten my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death. Create a pure heart within me”

…Sanctify your limbs and adorn them with Mitzvot (good deeds) making yourself into a throne for the Divine Presence, your body an ark for the Shechinah! (from p 122-3 Essential Kabbalah by Daniel Matt)

After this section of Aspiring to be Holy the text details many of these deeds to adorn yourself “into a throne for the Divine Presence” including the great Golden Rule of the Torah, “Love your near one as you love yourself” This is the core around which all Torah hinges. These things are what it means to be holy.

This is the fourth level – the sod or mystery – the ultimate aim of aspiring for holiness is those flashes of inspiration and knowledge that all is one, it’s all G8d. This is why kedoshim t’hyu is the same as v’ahavta l’re-acha kamocha in being central pillars around which the rest of Torah and our lives can be arranged and given direction! I suggest that the “ani Adonai which follows some of these commands are to, on this level dissolve the barriers between Ani and Adonai

From William Wordsworth (great name!) Tinturn Abby, quoted in Rabbi Aviva Gottleib Zornberg’s Hidden Order of Intimacy commentary on Leviticus

-with an eye made quiet by the power

of harmony, and the deep power of joy

we see into the life of things

note the synesthesia of the “eye” quieted by “harmony” reminiscent of seeing Sinai’s thunder!

April 22nd is Earth Day this year. This Archive Post for more on Earth Day and Kedoshim from 2021

Photo by Marcello Socket on Pexels.com

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Empathy: Not just “Nice”, Crucial!

This week’s Torah saga is about empathy for the outcast, when you delve past the surface. On the surface it seems to be a medical handbook, perhaps about microbial control. Tamei is a word that has been translated as “impure” but actually means prohibited from offering sacrifices at the Temple. Giving birth, contact with a dead body, skin ailments that spread, and bodily discharges make a person tamei. Houses and garments can be infected too. It is not the doctor, but the kohen (priest) who inspects and decides whether or not the person’s skin ailment has progressed or regressed enough to perform the ritual to re-enter society. I have written about the contagion before, check it out here; returning following childbirth; and about how this is no ordinary illness, but one of the spirit which becomes visible on the skin. Psoriasis, for example as well as alopecia, lupus are all autoimmune diseases very much affected by anxiety, and stress. The Hebrew word for this skin disease, falsely translated as leprosy is metzorah. Midrash interprets this as evil talk, or gossip. “Therefore, Moses cautions Israel and says: “This shall be the law of the metzorah” the law of the defamer [hamotzi shem ra].” There is a famous Hassidic tale of a town gossip whose tales ruin the reputation and therefore the business of a new arrival in town. When he learns that his words have so wounded, he feels remorse, and goes to the town Rabbi. “How can I set things right?”, he asks. The Rabbi instructs the man to bring him his feather pillow. When he does, the Rabbi opens the window, opens and shakes the feathers loose. “Now go and gather every last feather back”, he instructs. “It’s impossible!” replies the gossip! “Just as your words, true or not, are out of your control once you let them loose.” is the lesson. (sources here)

There is a disturbing verse which snagged my attention. Leviticus 13:45

As for the person with tzaarat (scaly skin infection): their clothes shall be rent, their head shall be left bare, and their upper lip shall be covered over; and they shall call out, “tamei, tamei!”

It sounds pretty awful, I can’t imagine it being me – how humiliating! I would much rather be silent, to hide. If I had a scaly skin infection, that was thought to be contagious, would my crying out keep them away more than my wanting to hide under a rock? I don’t think so! The call of “tamei, tamei” however, can arouse empathy, and prayers for my healing, according to Talmud

On the other hand, what if I am outcast for the sin of gossip? Perhaps now, the public outcry is for the purpose of apology! I learned from Talmud (sources here) overcoming the silence and hiding just might be the reason for this calling out. Calling out in the night can arouse tears of empathy. We are commanded in Leviticus to love your near one as yourself. Silent suffering or silent apologies can both get in the way of that connection between people that is needed in community.

When I walk through the streets of Manhattan, I see forgotten folks. The unhoused are treated as invisible. Their hair is unkempt, their clothes are torn, they are banished from normal activities of life, and unlike in the biblical verses, there is no prescribed way back in to society. Their skin may be broken, or unsightly and people are repelled, perhaps afraid of contagion, or of irrational behavior. And if they cry out in their pain, the police are called. I make it a point to see, to give, to honor them as human beings, each with a spark of the Divine. It’s required in Torah – it’s the foundation of empathy and community. Empathy simply is our hope for a better world.

Recently “Empathy” has been in the news in a way that shocked me. Some were calling it a sin, a weakness Emanuel Levinas wrote in 1934 about ‘Hittlerism” and was inspired to write his argument: that seeing the face of another must arouse within us a sense of responsibility to care for them, no matter what. (source 1) He predicted what would become the Holocaust from an inability to respond with caring and apologies when we err. It is interesting that the crying of the defamer serves both as an apology and a plea to not be left alone forever. When we silence our own or others suffering, we are denied the mitzvah of praying for another, of crying with them, of the possibility of healing.

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Shabbat HaGadol, Passover is coming!

Bonnie asked her “burning question” and it was brilliant! Why do we read about the crossing of the Sea of Reeds in the Torah reading cycle in February, rather than April when Passover actually occurs?

We read a lot of Torah on Passover (Pesach in Hebrew), there are special readings EVERY SINGLE DAY of the seven (or eight) day festival and a special Haftarah on the Shabbat before Pesach, called Shabbat HaGadol (the Great!) Many of the Passover daily readings do indeed tell the story of the Exodus (Ex. chapter 12) The crossing of the sea, including the song of the sea, led by Miryam and the women, are read on the last two days. If Shabbat falls on the in between days, Exodus 33-34 . Exodus 33 is the aftermath of the egel hazahav– the golden calf. We read about G8d’s forgiveness. When we had freedom, the first thing we did was to be “stiff necked” to go back to worshiping idols of gold, and Aaron was involved: the frightened people asked him to build one, and he did. To be free, means free to make mistakes. Perhaps you have been a teenager, newly freed from parental oversight, or know one, or have parented one? My daughters have shared with me some sad stories of overprotected youngsters suddenly free to do anything they wish at college for the first time, who made terrible decisions. We are not just freed from Egypt, we are free to serve the Holy One of Blessing!

So what is the Torah reading this week in the yearly cycle and what does it have to do with Pesach? It is Tzav, meaning command. Moshe (Moses) is told to command his brother and nephews about how to become the kohanim the “priests” officiating at the sacrificial offerings of the Mishkan. But first they had to be “purified” to be open enough to become channels of holiness, and to be forgiven for Aaron’s making of the Golden calf/egel hazahav. See source 4 (Sifra, Midrash from school of Rabbi Akiva). Aharon (Aaron) needs to know his heart has been accepted, just as the wandering generation of Israelites needs to know. To accomplish this transformation to become kohanim, Aaron and his sons are washed (by Moshe!) and are locked in the Tent of meeting for seven full days, to emerge on the eighth day, and then anointed with oil. They would then emerge, be installed and wait to see if G8d would accept their offerings, as fire or pillar of cloud. Those seven days of waiting must be rough – would G8d accept the work of their hands – the art and architecture of the mishkan? (tabernacle) And would G8d then be with them, and travel with them through the wilderness? And what did the soon-to-be priests do locked up in the tent of meeting for seven days? During my ordination, 16 of the 17 candidates were secluded in a room for an hour or two. We also had worked together for the past four months to craft our transition ceremony and prepare for our new roles in life. Would the world and the Holy One of blessing accept the offerings of our hearts? The responses would not be visible as a pillar of cloud, but in the fire in the hearts of the people we served.We sang, laughed. There was bonding, there was palpable tension. We sang in our ceremony from psalm 91, asking G8d to accept the work of our hands and hearts (source 1). In a similar way, Moshe “fills their palms”. Your hands and hearts must be open to be filled and receive gifts. Pregnancy seems like such a waiting as well, much longer than a week! Then your hands are filled with a tiny miracle. And transformation follows – oh the mystery!

Like the kohanim waiting in the Tent of Meeting the Exodus itself has a period of watching and keeping in Exodus 12: In the waiting period between the tenth plague, death of the first born and the leaving. לֵ֣יל שִׁמֻּרִ֥ים הוּא֙ לַֽיהֹוָ֔ה לְהוֹצִיאָ֖ם מֵאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרָ֑יִם leil shimurim – a night of watching/guarding to G8d, toward leaving the “tight place” – Egypt. I’m guessing there was not much sleep during that midnight watch. Rashi (source 2) says it was much longer than a night, that they were waiting to see if G8d would fulfill a promise of redemption many hundreds of years old!

Seven days, and then the eight day will tell. That should ring a bell! We are about to enter a festival for seven days, and then an eighth day in the diaspora. In addition the fall and winter festivals, Sukkot and Hanukkah are eight day festivals. Seven days of creation – Sheva in Hebrew, represents completion. The eighth, one day beyond. There is both getting together on Pesach, and isolation if you observe the dietary laws, from the non-Jewish community. Rabbeinu Bahya (source 3) references the seven layers of clothing of the kohen, and cites from the zohar This is also the reason that these days of inauguration were described (in the Zohar) as “days of שלמות, “days of perfection, or perfecting.or wholeness. The Haftarah for Shabbat HaGadol is the very last book of the last prophet Micah, envisions a messianic time, a time transformed, where Elijah the prophet will turn the hearts of parents and children to one another.

May your family or friendship circle find wholeness this Pesach, as Moshe anointed his brother and nephews. And when Elijah comes to your seder, may the generations turn their hearts to one another. Pesach and springtime can be magical!

Related: Passover 5785

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Be Holy and … Sacrifice Animals?

Short answer: no -sacrifice ego. Carve a space, fill with song and G8d and rise!

We have reached in our weekly readings, the third, central book of the Torah called Leviticus in English, because much the book consists of instructions to the Levites on how to perform the specifics of animal, oil, meal and wine sacrifices. In Hebrew it’s named “Vayira” meaning “and He called”

Leviticus is an amazing book, containing the command to “Be Holy” and to “Love your neighbor as yourself”, not to hold grudges, to “love the immigrant” and many aspects of how to live our lives in just and holy ways (as well as some problematic ones!). In very traditional communities, it is the first book taught to young boys. Yet, the very first thing Moshe (alone) hears are instructions for the technology to draw close to G8d – in the Mishkan (portable sanctuary) as well as in the Ancient Biblical Temple. It is called a Korban, which comes from the room ק ר ב K R V meaning to draw close.This first sacrifice described is burnt up completely – it is an “olah” – an unblemished animal of the herd which is used to kaper/atone for unintentional transgressions. I don’t know about you, but I just assume in the course of any day or week, I will unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings, or create pollution that harms the earth, or forget about G8d when I’m in an argument. The question of “how do I live with myself” is more than just hypothetical. I am currently reading the writings of Rabbi Nachman of Bretzlov, whose quote about the imperative of finding joy graces the home page of Shaarei Simcha’s website. He was the great grandson of the Ba’al Shem Tov, a towering figure, and had very high expectations of himself. Yet he struggled every day to find just a spark of good in his “black soul”, so dark was his self image and so exacting was he of himself. From sparks of brightness from the deeds and commandments he followed, he found bright spots. Yet in these bright spots he still found his motives to be less that pure, but deep within this inner darkness were some G8dly sparks and from those he connected the dots to make a melody ( a nikkud is a dot, a spark of G8d in Hebrew, and also means a musical note) This melody lifted his spirit and allowed him to sing songs of praise. There were no medications for the depression Reb Nachman experienced, and he recognized the danger of being swallowed up by its darkness. Reb Nachman lived in the 1700s, and there also were no animal sacrifices to assuage his guilt. Instead he sacrificed his his ego! From this low place of humility he was able then to ascend to experience great joy (expansive consciousness) and to sing. He worked hard at this each day of his (short) life

All of that being said, the verses found in this week’s reading describing the butchering of animals are hard for many folks to stomach. I do not eat meat (except fish) and usually I avoid these verses, choosing other verses to read instead. However, there is merit in approaching what makes me uncomfortable – and facing it. For Biblical omnivores, sacrifices were the only source of meat. This meant recognizing the loss of life, ensuring a painless slaughter, and prayers to sanctify this transfer of energy. Most of the sacrifices were not burned up, as the olah was, but shared with family and friends, given to the Levites, or the poor, no leftovers allowed. The factory farms that produce most of the meat on this planet for us are ethical and environmental nightmares. The callous consumption of the bodies of once living creatures, reducing them to the point where we never have to think of, or experience where our food comes from results in the increasingly common practice of calling meat “protein” as if it were created as a disembodied nutrient for our benefit! And this all happens on an unimaginably large scale. Compared to the “sacrifice” of a creature, which one seems barbaric to you? Still, I wish there were sacrifices in the Bible that did not involve taking a life. So consider – this system was replaced by sacrificing our words and time and egos almost 2000 years ago. What remained was for Biblical adherents to take these verses metaphorically as most verses should be -taken beyond the simplest meaning all the way to the lessons they teach and the mysteries they contain. As the Medieval commentator Ibn Ezra says:

Far be it from God to require a burnt offering. Scripture clearly states, If I were hungry, I would not tell thee…(Ps. 50:12). On the contrary, it has a secret meaning.

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To Teach is the Thing!

Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more ~Isaiah 2:4 I look at scenes of war helplessly this week, from a distance, and wonder “when we will ever learn”?

Have you heard this saying: “Those who can do, and those who can’t teach” I have been teaching most of my life, It is a whole bunch of doing: not everybody can or should teach. In fact, Solomon Ibn Gabirol (11th century Anadalusia, pictured below) indicates five steps toward wisdom: In seeking wisdom: the first step is silence, the second listening, the third remembering, the fourth practicing, the final, the ultimate act of wisdom is only acquired by teaching others! I suggest that Moses (Moshe) is going through these steps to become Moshe Rabbeinu, our great teacher

A quick recap in the action: Just a few chapters ago, the world meets G8d at a mountain called Sinai, which was volcanic and terrifying. The people ask Moshe (Moses) to go up and get the remainder of teachings from G8d. He went. He’s a little late coming back, and the folks make a golden calf. G8d sees this, calls the people “stiff necked”, and offers to start over, wiping the folks out and beginning again with Moshe. Moshe protests, to the point making himself sick (“fever in the bones”) G8d relents, agrees to stick around! Happy ending no? No, everyone’s still upset. The first of many things to happen is the first set of tablets, inscribed by the finger of G8d, are smashed. Moshe leaves the camp. He is alone separated from the community. How do you think he feels? The tablets are smashed on the 17th of Tammuz, in the heat of summer, and Moshe goes up the mountain again on Elul 1st- about 2 weeks later.

What must Moshe have felt like as a leader, a teacher? As soon as he’s (perhaps) a few hours late coming down the mountain the Israelites make a solid gold idol, bow to it and announce “this is your G8d” and dance around it! Ok, Moses went up for a long time without food and water, and satan (the adversary) besets them with an image of Moses death, But still, they are eager to replace Moses, they are scared of “that man” and feel they’re being pious by building an object they have made, own and use to tame the Untame-able, and their fear. They dance!

Often I feel a failure as a teacher, like Moshe. I have taught that the life on earth is precious for most of my life, and feel the world slipping into chaos. And people dance and behave like everything’s ok. What a dissonance! How lonely must Moshe feel! What have you expended your heart and soul into that people just didn’t get? What did you do?

Something that struck me is that this scene on the mountain, where the hero is in despair hidden in a cave on the mountain of G8d happens again in Kings, with a different prophet, this time it’s Elijah. Elijah is so despondent, he asks G8d to take his life. Moshe (Moses) is so despondent, he asks to see G8d’s kavod. In the scene with Elijah on the mountain, he experiences a storm wind that shatters rock (!) and an earthquake and a fire. And G8d is not in these dramatic, powerful things! Where is G8d to be found? In the kol d’mamma daka the voice of soft murmuring – the still, small voice. Eliyahu (Elijah) fails to listen to G8d’s advice, and instead stages a dramatic mountain top contest with, you guessed it, fire! But Moses will evolve to greatness and “gets it” and becomes the consummate teacher taking those steps of Gabirol

  1. Silence – in his loneliness Moshe can know silence. The loneliness functions to arouse desire.
  2. Listening – in his despair, Moshe has the audacity to ask to see G8d’s kavod– honor or glory, or Presence. G8d replies “I will make all my goodness (emphasis mine) pass before you” What he hears is a new covenant to replace the fiery one at Sinai – the 13 Attributes of G8d. Forgiveness and love become an essential part of our experience of G8d. He hears the still small voice and brings this as the gift of words back to the people.
  3. Remembering – midrash says Moshe was instructed by day, and studied at night, filling in the white fire, the oral law and interpretations. Unlike the first set of tablets inscribed by G8d, Moshe must learn and interpret. He would not just parrot what he understood, but teach a method of extrapolating for changing times, first passed down as oral law.
  4. Practice- Moshe returns and his face is radiant with “keren or” horns of light. He veils his face but removes it to teach and to learn from the Holy One
  5. Teach – Moshe Rabbeinu becomes our ultimate teacher. His radiant face reflects his Teacher, and he removes the veil to speak heart to heart/ face to face with the People..

To teach is Holy, but wisdom begins in silence, longing and listening. To love is Divine. Moshe takes one step further. Although G8d says “no one can see my face and live” and the Holy One shields Moshe in the cleft of the rock from seeing the “face”, At the end of the Torah it will say that Moshe saw G8d face to face. “From the fire to the limit to the wall” sang Chaka Khan to love, the redemptive force that holds the world together. watch scenes of war on my television helplessly and pray that we remember that golden rule. May this be G8d’s will.

Much honor to Rabbi Aviva Gotlieb Zornberg, for her book on Exodus The Particulars of Desire (the whole series of books is wonderful), and from whom I deepened my understanding of this parashah.

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Hidden in Plain Sight

This coming week is the festival of Purim, in which the scroll of Esther is read. In a crucial scene, the book’s male protagonist, Mordechai refuses to bow to the arrogant Vizier of Persia. Due to this arrogance, the Vizier plots revenge against all Mordechai’s people, the Jews. We wear costumes, and are commanded to get fragrant levasumei in Hebrew (with wine?) until we can’t tell the difference between ‘cursed be the bad guy’, Haman in this case, and blessed be Mordechai! Interestingly the entire book of Esther is political satire against the powers that were: It begins with the King’s 180 day drinking party, the only rule is “no rules” and when it ends the King declares … another party!

Earlier this week, during Vizier’s state of the Union Address to congress, a woman of color refused to sit down when told, to silently protest the use of racism in the policies and speech. She was arrested and manhandled, re-injuring a shoulder which was injured in a January by federal agents. Story here. We are badly in need of political satire, to laugh at the impossible and cruel way of the rich and powerful, and along comes Purim. (I call Purim the “Jewish mardi gras”)

This week’s Torah reading begins with G8d saying: command the Israelites to bring clear beaten oil from olives to keep a light burning at night in the Mishkan the portable sanctuary, and to light it each and every night upon the golden menorah that looks like an almond tree. The original night light is where no one can see it: within the Tent of Meeting in the mishkan’s innermost chamber. It then goes on to speak of the inspired tailors who should be chosen to make the “uniforms” of those who will serve G8d in this traveling sanctuary, and to spell out the materials and specifics of the wardrobe.

Hidden beauty and Passion connects all of these things: The menorah, the Holiday of Purim, the robes of the Kohen Gadol

  1. Hiddenness in the Menorah: The olive contains within it the pure oil hidden within it. The olives are like the Israelites who are bidden to bring the olives, and who have within them pure fuel, passion in faith and to love one another and to love G8d. From the combination of wick and olive oil will emerge flame – also a hidden potential within the fuel, the flame lets out the beauty that was always there. Hidden in the design of the menorah itself is the pattern of an almond tree. There was worship of a tree Goddess in Biblical times, Asherah was her name, until the time Josiah uncovered the book of Deuteronomy and it was outlawed. Hidden in placement, the menorah is within the innermost center of the mishkan, where only the kohanim and G8d can see it! I suggest: don’t hide your flame, but don’t let it consume you either
  2. Hiddenness in the holiday of Purim: So many things are hidden in the Book of Esther: starting with Esther’s name, which means “hidden”. She hides her Hebrew name and her Jewishness, she is hidden within the palace, G8d’s name is hidden in the book, it does not appear. Esther hides her intentions after she approaches the king, taking a subtle tack. We wear masks which both hide who we are, and reveal hidden identities waiting to come out. We hide our serious, judgemental side for the day. We are bidden to be silly, to play, to let it “all hang out”
  3. Hiddenness in the clothing of the Kohanim (priests) This one seems a bit more obvious: Clothing hides the “human animal” giving dignity, artistic flair, both concealing who we are and revealing it. The clothing of the Kohanim is supposed to somehow transform them into creatures worthy of representing the community to G8d, and being able to withstand the presence of G8d. The voice of G8d will then come from that potential space between the K’ruvim Golden cherubs who spread their wings over the arc of the pact. But as we know from history and today’s headlines, some seek the power that the uniform, the fancy clothing conveys, and are nothing but a human animal within their clothes. Others have imposter syndrome and don’t feel worthy although they are.

Back to the headlines: Many leaders in the world wear the trappings of Dignity and Leadership, yet inside is the only same craving of power we know from Biblical times. A story by Reb Nachman of Bretzlov tells of the son of King who is convinced he is a Turkish bird, strips all his clothing, retreats under the table and refuses to do or say anything except for pecking grain under the table. Feel free to read here. In one version of the story, the prince still crows every once in awhile. How much do the trappings of dignity, honor and rule make a person that way? How much do they hide the hypocrisy inside? Which of us is exempt from this self examination? It seems that history is reflecting the text of Torah and Esther this week. May G8d’s rules of justice and kindness be revealed through our actions, in this time of hidden things.

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On Eagle’s wings: Torah of the hands.

This week in Torah we read about the encounter on a mountain in the desert of Sinai.

I have a favorite verse in the lead up to revelation, Ex 19:4

“You yourselves have seen
what I did to Egypt,
how I bore you on eagles’ (or more likely condor’s/vulture’s) wings and brought you to me”.

Yes, aquatic birds, such as ducks and swans and coots do carry their nestlings on their backs. Condors, hawks and eagles don’t literally. (Check out these sweet images from Animals Daily). It does remind me of the trips across the ocean many of our grandparents took, and many are still taking, to the safety of foreign shores for the sake of their children The term for eagle’s wings in Hebrew is kanfei n’sharim. The word kanaf is found in the third paragraph of the Shema, where we are commanded to place a thread of blue on the fringes of the kanaf! Birds don’t carry their young through the sky, but our tallit, with its “wings” just might, if the journey is a spiritual one. Uplifted by feeling the Presence of the Holy One of Blessing, we can live this beautiful metaphor. The fact that it’s poetic metaphor the words: “you have all seen”. Our eyes can fool us, we will soon see the thunder at Sinai.

And indeed, according to Midrash (Mehilta Ex 15:2) the least of the slave girls who crossed the Sea of Reeds saw more than the prophet Ezekiel did in his crazy psychedelic visions!* Following this intimate encounter, the folks who experienced Redemption at the sea travel for three days to camp in a place called Refidim. There they complain to Moshe of thirst, and sarcastically ask if there weren’t enough graves in Egypt that he had to lead them to this wilderness. Their complaints have been seen as lacking not water, but Torah of their hands! According to Or HaChayim, (Morocco, 1700s) Refidim is an allusion to רפיון ידים R’fiyon yadayim, or “slacking of the hands” from Torah. What kind of Torah do you do with your hands? Perhaps caring for one another! They have not yet arrived at Sinai, so have not actually heard Torah revealed yet.

We have been carried on The Wings of G8d, protected, borne skyward, inspired. But we will die of thirst if we don’t walk the talk. We have reached Sinai, but there are warnings: “don’t climb the mountain, or even touch it” Why should there be limits on connecting to the Holy One? Midrash says we were all standing at Sinai, not just those standing there that day, but those not even born yet. We all heard the voice of G8d speak the Ten Important Things, or at least the first letter, and we all had the synesthetic experience: All the people saw the thunder! We were all amateur prophets. But in the same way that Jacob never climbs his ladder, we are not to climb Sinai. There must be limits on the mountain perhaps because we’d get stuck there and forget to care for the widow, orphan and the immigrant. The Torah of the hands is crucial, and accepting limitations is hard to grapple with. When Moshe burns with the fire of inspiration at the beginning of his journey, the miracle of the “burning bush” is that it is not consumed or destroyed by the burning. The world needs a lot of healing. There is a lot to be fearful of and angry at. Please take good care to not let these feelings consume. Perhaps the joy of flight can, balanced by the “Torah of the Hands” Can help.

*An amazing modern midrash gives voice and name to this “least of the slave girls” in Rabbi Jill Hammer’s book Sisters at Sinai

Source page on Sefaria

A condor in flight. A Nesher in Hebrew is similar. This is a California condor, which is, G8d-willing, being brought back from the very brink of extinction by

https://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/14740-vulture

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