Have you had mentors who energized and inspired you? I have been fortunate to have teachers, Rabbis and Hazzanim who inspired me. My dearest hope is to touch others in this way – if you touch the two flames together, they shine more brightly.
Moses was the greatest teacher the Israelites have had. Very soon, by the end of this week’s Torah reading, B’haalot’cha, we will see the foundation for insurrection. A rejection of Sinai, a desire to return to slavery and the old ways. A rejection of Manna which was heaven sent for cucumbers, leeks, and most of all meat. But at the beginning of the Torah portion, there is also much joy!
B’Ha’alotcha means raising up (the menora) to light the light. Moshe is like that light. Chapter 9 of Numbers begins so hopefully and positively. In some of the most dramatic trope I’ve read, the wandering Israelites “make the Pesach” festival. I imagine, since they took their flocks with them, they had meat offerings, and a feast. Followed by a “complaint” or question, by a few that who were tamei (ritually impure) because someone near them had died, or they were traveling and could not partake in the festival, and could not draw near to G8d with an offering as the other Israelites could. Unlike the complainers or the insurrectionists to come, these folks only wish to draw close to Sinai. Moshe treats them with absolute respect, taking their question right to the Holy One of Blessing, and getting the very first amendment to the Torah – they could participate in a Pesach sheni – a second chance to offer the sacrifices. !
Sources here Rashi interprets this questioning like a star student asking a great question, and says this is akin to prophecy!
Happy, indeed, is a human being (lit., one born of woman) who may so confidently rely that at any time when he wishes to do so he may speak with the Shechinah! — This section, in fact, ought to have been said by Moses, just as all the other sections of the Torah, only that these men were privileged that it should be promulgated through their intervention, because “meritorious deeds are brought about by worthy men”
By the time we get to Chapter 11 of Numbers, the situation of the complainers is so difficult for Moshe, he asks G8d for help, or, if not, for death! In Moses’ frustration with leadership challenges, G8d answers him by using Moses as a candle to light the flames of others. 70 elders, Eldad and Medad become prophets, to taste what it’s like to be so inspired. -“speaking with the Shechinah” as the midrash and Talmud allude to above. When Joshua sees Eldad and Medad ecstatic and running around prophecy-making, he tries to protect his boss (Moses) but Moshe (Moses) say – “would that all the people were prophets” The prophecy that Eldad and Medad were telling was that Moshe would not lead them across the Jordan, rather Joshua would! Just as my fondest wish – to pave the way for my replacement(s) by inspiring others!
Also, for fun, some gender bending commentaries about Moses and G8d being nursing mothers, for Pride month. This first Rashi is about the Manna. Perhaps God is the nursing mother, and the rebellion of the people is like the toddlers (Israel is a fledgling nation) being weaned. About the taste and texture of Manna:
Our Rabbis (Sifrei Bamidbar 89) explained it as meaning “breasts’ (i. e. just as the suckling imbibes, so to speak, every possible flavor with the mother-milk. so the Israelites found all flavors in the manna;
And about Moses: He imagines himself as a nursing mother, and then rejects that image for himself – but first he, and all of us, get to imagine it. Sources here
Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more ~Isaiah 2:4 I look at scenes of war helplessly this week, from a distance, and wonder “when we will ever learn”?
Have you heard this saying: “Those who can do, and those who can’t teach” I have been teaching most of my life, It is a whole bunch of doing: not everybody can or should teach. In fact, Solomon Ibn Gabirol (11th century Anadalusia, pictured below) indicates five steps toward wisdom: In seeking wisdom: the first step is silence, the second listening, the third remembering, the fourth practicing, the final, the ultimate act of wisdom is only acquired by teaching others! I suggest that Moses (Moshe) is going through these steps to become Moshe Rabbeinu, our great teacher
A quick recap in the action: Just a few chapters ago, the world meets G8d at a mountain called Sinai, which was volcanic and terrifying. The people ask Moshe (Moses) to go up and get the remainder of teachings from G8d. He went. He’s a little late coming back, and the folks make a golden calf. G8d sees this, calls the people “stiff necked”, and offers to start over, wiping the folks out and beginning again with Moshe. Moshe protests, to the point making himself sick (“fever in the bones”) G8d relents, agrees to stick around! Happy ending no? No, everyone’s still upset. The first of many things to happen is the first set of tablets, inscribed by the finger of G8d, are smashed. Moshe leaves the camp. He is alone separated from the community. How do you think he feels? The tablets are smashed on the 17th of Tammuz, in the heat of summer, and Moshe goes up the mountain again on Elul 1st- about 2 weeks later.
What must Moshe have felt like as a leader, a teacher? As soon as he’s (perhaps) a few hours late coming down the mountain the Israelites make a solid gold idol, bow to it and announce “this is your G8d” and dance around it! Ok, Moses went up for a long time without food and water, and satan (the adversary) besets them with an image of Moses death, But still, they are eager to replace Moses, they are scared of “that man” and feel they’re being pious by building an object they have made, own and use to tame the Untame-able, and their fear. They dance!
Often I feel a failure as a teacher, like Moshe. I have taught that the life on earth is precious for most of my life, and feel the world slipping into chaos. And people dance and behave like everything’s ok. What a dissonance! How lonely must Moshe feel! What have you expended your heart and soul into that people just didn’t get? What did you do?
Something that struck me is that this scene on the mountain, where the hero is in despair hidden in a cave on the mountain of G8d happens again in Kings, with a different prophet, this time it’s Elijah. Elijah is so despondent, he asks G8d to take his life. Moshe (Moses) is so despondent, he asks to see G8d’s kavod. In the scene with Elijah on the mountain, he experiences a storm wind that shatters rock (!) and an earthquake and a fire. And G8d is not in these dramatic, powerful things! Where is G8d to be found? In the kol d’mamma daka the voice of soft murmuring – the still, small voice. Eliyahu (Elijah) fails to listen to G8d’s advice, and instead stages a dramatic mountain top contest with, you guessed it, fire! But Moses will evolve to greatness and “gets it” and becomes the consummate teacher taking those steps of Gabirol
Silence – in his loneliness Moshe can know silence. The loneliness functions to arouse desire.
Listening – in his despair, Moshe has the audacity to ask to see G8d’s kavod– honor or glory, or Presence. G8d replies “I will make all my goodness (emphasis mine) pass before you” What he hears is a new covenant to replace the fiery one at Sinai – the 13 Attributes of G8d. Forgiveness and love become an essential part of our experience of G8d. He hears the still small voice and brings this as the gift of words back to the people.
Remembering – midrash says Moshe was instructed by day, and studied at night, filling in the white fire, the oral law and interpretations. Unlike the first set of tablets inscribed by G8d, Moshe must learn and interpret. He would not just parrot what he understood, but teach a method of extrapolating for changing times, first passed down as oral law.
Practice- Moshe returns and his face is radiant with “keren or” horns of light. He veils his face but removes it to teach and to learn from the Holy One
Teach – Moshe Rabbeinu becomes our ultimate teacher. His radiant face reflects his Teacher, and he removes the veil to speak heart to heart/ face to face with the People..
To teach is Holy, but wisdom begins in silence, longing and listening. To love is Divine. Moshe takes one step further. Although G8d says “no one can see my face and live” and the Holy One shields Moshe in the cleft of the rock from seeing the “face”, At the end of the Torah it will say that Moshe saw G8d face to face. “From the fire to the limit to the wall” sang Chaka Khan to love, the redemptive force that holds the world together. watch scenes of war on my television helplessly and pray that we remember that golden rule. May this be G8d’s will.
Much honor to Rabbi Aviva Gotlieb Zornberg, for her book on Exodus The Particulars of Desire (the whole series of books is wonderful), and from whom I deepened my understanding of this parashah.
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