Miryam&#039;s Space

Yom Kippur, Protect what you love!

October 12, 2022

We protect most what we love, perhaps only what we love. I saw this sign in Alaska’s Denali Park

There was once in my life when I was moose Mama. My oldest daughter was only 2 year old, and we were on a plane to Florida visiting grandma. And some fellow who was drunk was annoyed that my child’s chair was leaned back reached out his arm over the chair toward her curly locks. I stood up and said and in a voice that I’m not sure where it came from announced YOU DON’T TOUCH A HAIR ON THAT CHILD’S HEAD. We protect what we love! I would have taken a bullet for my children, like Kevin Costner in the bodyguard

So many in our world are vulnerable and need our protection. Children who are hungry because of poverty, disease, war and storm. children who are in danger of gun violence, and the earth herself as a state is besieged, species are becoming extinct at the highest rate in 67 million years, the climate is changing, which threatens not only the creatures of this gorgeous planet, but the our children and our future. Inequity and power hunger leads to the tragedy of war. We are supposed to guard and to serve the earth and protect our children. But if we only protect what we love, how can our hearts be the big enough – what if you don’t have family to love, or worse your family is abusive. And how can we love beyond our own tribe. Here’s a wacky Idea: we can cultivate love with romance novels and love songs.

Did you know there is such a thing in the Bible? It is called Shir haShirim, the Song of Songs. Academics say it is a mashup of ancient love songs that is at the same time very human, at times erotic And thousand years has been a powerful expression of the loving Relationship of The Holy One and the Jewish People. We sing it to express our love of the Holy One, and according to Ezra ben Solomon, 13^th century mystic This is “The song which the Holy One …recites daily.” So our tradition is offering an answer to how to cultivate enough love to protect this earth and our children: Love the mysterious, loving creative power of the cosmos, which means to fill heart with love!

If you were to collect popular love songs to mash-up and create a modern song of songs about both human and Divine love, what songs would you include? Song by England Dan & John Ford Coley

Name your price

A ticket to paradise

I can’t stay here any more

I’ve been from shore to shore to shore

If there’s a shortcut I’d have found it

But there’s no easy way around it

Light of the world, shine on me, Love is the answer

Shine on us all, set us free

Love is a theme in our Torah reading today as well

We will read today in Torah הַעִדֹ֨תִי בָכֶ֣ם הַיּוֹם֮ אֶת־הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם וְאֶת־הָאָ֒רֶץ֒ הַחַיִּ֤ים וְהַמָּ֙וֶת֙ נָתַ֣תִּי לְפָנֶ֔יךָ הַבְּרָכָ֖ה וְהַקְּלָלָ֑ה וּבָֽחַרְתָּ֙ בַּחַיִּ֔ים לְמַ֥עַן תִּֽחְיֶ֖ה אַתָּ֥ה וְזַרְעֶֽךָ׃

I call heaven and earth to witness this day: I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life—that you and your children shall live—

The Spanish medieval Commentator Ibn Ezra explains:

That What is meant by “you and your children may live means” explains that to live is to love. He says!

And the next verse is a teaching to love the Source of Love and Life itself

לְאַֽהֲבָה֙ אֶת־יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ

The awe we spoke of last night is only half of faith. The other half is Love. Love: the magic in the universe, The energy of support zinging back and forth in the spaces between the parts of things: family members, community members, it’s where G*d is present, in the vibrant spaces between.

And The Holy One sings a song of love for us: Ahavah Rabba, we are loved by an unending love. This teaching to love G*d is Echoed in the Shema/ V’ahavta. Empowered by love, we are to love G*d with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our all. The s’fat Emet writes: This raises a difficulty: how is it appropriate to command love? love must be freely given! Rabbi Kenneth Cohen speaks of those who suffer, and cannot love G*d, He then goes on to say that v’ahavta is not a command, but a future tense. An aspiration, a prophecy,

Is it possible to love G*d NOW in the present tense? Even through our suffering?

The poster child of Grace in the Bible is Job. Job is a righteous guy who loves G*d a lot! He’s also very successful and wealthy. G*d is portrayed in very human terms, and with one unusual trait: the need for human love.

This trait is the reason we were created, say the mystics. The adversary, Satan, exploits this weakness, and says to G*d: “Job only blesses you because you’ve been so good to him. Let me at him and he’ll sing a different song.” And G*d accepts the challenge and permits Satan to do as he wishes, but forbids him to physically harm Job. Satan kills his ten children, and destroys all his wealth. Job still blesses G*d. So Satan pushes further, let me hurt his body and he’ll curse you. G*d allows this. Job’s friends hold on to the view that Job must have done something to deserve this, but Job holds his ground, knowing he’s been a righteous guy. He curses his own life, but never curses G*d, He only pleads for an answer, a reason. And so G*d appears to Job, and says “where were You Job, when I created the fearless Leviathan of the universe?” Pulling out the awe card.

As I studied Job, I wondered aloud, is Loving G*d the same as loving life? Job curses his life and the day that he was born, but will not curse G*d. Perhaps the difference is that to curse G*d is to curse the whole of existence itself, as to love G*d is to love existence itself, in all its messiness, as well as its beauty. To wish, in your suffering, that you had never been born is one thing, but to deny the beauty of children, and flowers and waterfalls and mountains, and goodness: to curse them all, and to wish they never were? That does not seem like an option. L’chaim is the Jewish toast, “to life”!

Rebbe Shlomo Carlebach, who fled Austria as a teen, during the years leading up to the war and the holocaust would occasionally return to Germany and Austria to give concerts. People asked him “how can you do it, don’’t you hate the Germans and Austrians for what they did?” He would reply “If I had two hearts, I would hate them. Since I only have the one, I choose to fill it with love.”

Suffering only exists in contrast. We know pain because we have known ease, apathy because we have known joy. We experience loss because we knew love, we recognize injustice because we envision a better world. I have no easy answers, but I know that suffering is a part of life, and sometimes from suffering, blessing can even emerge. It can be a crucible, inspiring empathy, forging a better human being.

I, like on in every 5 Americans have a disability. Facing my disability and discomfort and fear that goes along with it has forged within me mindfulness, generosity and empathy. I do know this: That a heart filled with gratitude and love is a better way to live: For me that’s what it means to love G*d – to fill your heart with love for others, for life, and for creation. Also to discern: Psalm 97 teaches שנאו רע אהבי יי That to be a lover of G*d is to hate evil. We cannot control the scary things of the world, but we can have influence over our response. Torah suggests that the most productive, creative response is to love. V’ahavta.

Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook, the great 20^th century Israeli mystic and visionary wrote a poem, his version of “song of songs” It describes four levels of song, also can be levels of love.

The first level for some may be the hardest: to love yourself! We are can be own worst enemies. Try this meditation with me: Imagine that you are light.

Begin with a tiny spark in your heart, with each beat of your heart the light expands, first filling your chest, and then expanding to fill you, and then spilling out of you until All around you in every corner, etc.. (~Azriel)

You are made of light and love, Know that you are beautiful. You must be, there is G*d in you. In spite of the flaws we try to fix during these Holy days.

Once you are able to love yourself, Look at a neighbor or friend nearby. Imagine that light within them, it is here too! The second level of love is to love the beauty in our community! We sing the Song of our tradition (the letters ‘ישראל’ can be rearranged to form the words שיר א-ל — the Song of God), Let love bind our community, we are more than individuals, more than the sum of our parts.

Now picture in your mind someone Who is difficult to love, who is as different from you as can be. Find the same divine light. The third level is to love all humanity. Imagine sending love out there.

The fourth level of song, the fourth level of love: There is one who rises even higher, uniting with all creatures, with all worlds. Filling the Universe with song;

What if together we could sing all these levels of love together in harmony

Together they are the song of G*d, the song of ultimate love, the song of songs.

And through this widening circle of song and of love, we know what we must do, to protect the ones we love. Because We only protect what we love, and the time is now. Choose life and love

Category:

Kol Nidre, A time for Awe!

It is possible to turn fear into awe

For most of my life I have had a fear of heights. Perhaps like me, you have found that fears get in the way. On a trip I was planning several years ago, I really wanted to go zip lining. I began imagining the experience, and somehow, to my delight, I did it! I guess I’m afraid of falling, not heights. My secret is I never once looked down. It was amazing, it felt like flying as I imagined! The beginning of wisdom, says Proverbs, is Yirat HaShem.- Yirat is an interesting word in Hebrew, the same word meaning two different, yet connected emotions: fear and awe. From Proverbs we learn “The beginning of wisdom is fear and/or awe of the Holy One”. I knew those ropes, harnesses and pulleys were safe, and knowing I was safe I was free to feel the awe! Fear is helpful, preventing us from harming ourselves and doing something really dangerous. Fear of consequences prevents us from unethical behavior. Whether it is fear of legal, karmic, natural or Divine consequences. The beginning of wisdom is Yirat HaShem. Some degree of fear is helpful, but too much can paralyze, can limit.

Fear is also a powerful motivator. Political races are won by those that arouse fears in the populace. Fear of people that are different has motivated pogroms. Fear can be the pathway to “The Dark Side” according to the wisdom of Yoda (whose name in Hebrew means “to know”). But fear can be turned to awe. Take a minute to name something silently that you fear. Picture it. Breathe in and acknowledge the fear. There is likely an excellent reason you are scared of this: remember the beginning of wisdom is fear. Breathe out, and as you do, try to release some of that fear that has a hold on you. Breathe in and out again harder and imagine yourself giving this fear up to the Heavens. “It’s just too much for me oh Holy One, please, You take it!”

These Holy days are called the Days of Awe, not the Days of Fear. The process of Teshuva, return or Repentance has the power to Return us to the Awe we are born with.

To cultivate a feeling of awe we have done many things tonight: the music, beautiful setting, majestic words of our prayers. Another way to cultivate awe is to remember other times we’ve felt awe in our life. What experiences in your life have left you a feeling of jaw-dropping awe?

This past July NASA released the first images capture by the James Webb telescope. The images were from a patch of sky the size of a grain of sand held up in your hand against the night sky. There were thousands of distant galaxies within that tiny piece of sky. The mass of the dense cluster of galaxies acted as a gravitational lens to magnify an even more distant part of the universe. Light generated by those more distant galaxies, travelling at 186,000 miles per second took 13 billion years to reach our eyes. We are looking at events that happened almost at the dawn of time. Can you stretch your imagination that far? It is Inspiring just to try

And yet are we too busy to look up at the night sky, the vast Universe and wonder?

Or perhaps your awe-spot is watching nature’s miracles, rainbows, waterfalls, storm clouds. I know a young woman, Dani, she and her husband went backpacking in Ireland this spring, and they came to one town graced by an enormous double bow spanning the valley. As the entered the town they said to the innkeeper, wow, did you see that amazing rainbow? “Darlin’ we get those every day,” was the reply.

Or perhaps you find awe in the birth of a child, a miraculous event for sure. Also a day’s work for a maternity ward nurse. And then the child grows and hold their head up and smiles, and talks and takes those first wobbly steps. And we get to experience the world anew. Unless we’re too busy:

A child arrived just the other day
Came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay

Learned to walk while I was away
And was talking ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you, dad”
~Harry Chapin, Cat’s Cradle

Ahhh, to see the world through the eyes of a child.

As young children, we see the world with eyes of wonder, life is wonder-ful.

I find it so sad when that curiosity, that sense of awe and wonder is lost in children. How can we hold on to the wonder, can we consciously cultivate it?

I am fortunate to have raised three of my own children, and to have seen the world through their eyes. As a teacher, I get to share the wonders of nature and of living creatures: of how every heartbeat is a miracle and we are made of stardust, literally. In every moment of our life, there is mystery and magic at the heart of existence.

Science and spirituality can work in synergy to deepen experiences, to live in gratitude and awe at the wonder of each moment. I find inspiration in the magic of relationships in the world: Parts coming together becoming much more than the sum of their individual parts the magic of life. Life is not a parts list. The difference between life and death is not a missing part, but interactions which stop or go astray. The synergy that is created from no-thing – but rather from the relationships in the spaces between the parts. When there is synergy in a band they create an amazing sound. Loving and supportive relationships create a family, or a synagogue community – that is so much greater than the sum of the parts. In Jewish tradition the Divine presence herself, Shechinah dwells between 2 or 3 or ten people studying Torah.

The great 20^th centuryRabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel z’l’ urges us to live our lives in wonder, “Our goal, he says “should be to live life in radical amazement. ….get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”

And Maimonides, the great Scientist, Rationalist, of his time says and I agree, that G*d is simply beyond understanding or compare, (yet haven’t I seen You everywhere before?) Unknowable, mysterious, we yearn to know the Holy composer of this universe, and in the yearning, to find connection.

So perhaps you just don’t feel amazed. What if you are burnt out, the passion for the things you loved a memory, tired, discouraged, struggling to find meaning. A story: There was a student of a Rebbe who was going through a dry spell. The young man was going through the motions, but could find no inspiration in his prayers or his study. He approached the Rebbe for help- how can I get my mojo back?. The Rebbe said, I cannot help you, only The Holy One can, and I know a place in the forest where when you ask your question you will get an answer BUT you must pay particular attention to the pathway, or you will be hopelessly lost and not find your way back. And so the two men went. And the Rebbe accompanied him into deep the forest, and left him alone to commune with G*d and nature.

The student heeded the Rabbi, paying particular attention to the pathway –Soon he became totally absorbed in this task. He began to notice things , the way his body was responding to the exertion, his heartbeat responding, it felt pretty good to be alive!. He began to notice things in the forest as well: the lush mossy ground, the majestic trees the sweet calls of the birds. When he emerged from the forest he was smiling. So, nu, asked the Rabbi Did the Holy One answer you. I forgot to ask, I was so involved with the pathway. The student was so involved in the NOW of living, he was finally alive in the present moment, being fully present, fully himself. “Then I think you have received an answer my son! Said the Rebbe

Even A. Einstein famously declared we do have a choice in the way you live: to “Live your life as if nothing is a miracle, or everything is a miracle.” The sciences reveal a nearly infinite level of complexity underlying the most seemingly ordinary things, as do the mystics.

Perhaps our obstacle to living in amazement is that We think we have seen it all before: it’s just a star, or a rainbow, it’s just another kid on the block. We can even become callous to tragic events, “it is just another school shooting”-G*d forbid!

According to tradition we already knew all this amazing stuff before we were born.

The Talmud explains that the tiny light accompanies each child from the bundle of energy/ souls of the universe into the womb and that light remains as a protective angel until birth. And with that light, the tiny fetus can see to the ends of the universe, but upon birth the angel taps the child and they forget, we spend our lives relearning all the amazing things we knew. Socratic method in teaching is asking questions to draw out our innate wisdom.

Teshuva is returning to THAT, to childhood wonder.

What are you afraid of? Only the beginning of wisdom is fear. It is possible to turn the fear into awe. Perhaps the destination of wisdom is awe. We must access the “Awe” of life,

Teshuvah is returning and turning the fear into awe.

A poem

This witchery of life..

It is more than bones

More than the wrist with its individual pulse,

It is praising,

It is giving

Until the giving feels like receiving ~Mary Oliver

AMAZED

May I stay amazed, for all of my days

In all of the ways of the world’s turning

Amazed at what I’ve got, and not what I’ve not

All soon forgot in the world’s turning

Category:

Rosh Hashanah 5783

September 27, 2022

“Cuanudo el Rey Nimrod” Avram avinu, padre querido, padre bendicho, luz de Yisrael” This song tells a fascinating midrash!

When my oldest was a toddler and we transitioned from a crib to a bed, she would sometimes get up in the night and want to climb into our bed. I’d let her bring her sleeping bag in to be near me. Eventually as a parent you want to make them feel safe in their own bed. Stories helped, and lullabies, and the bed time Shema. It helps the monsters in the closet and under the bed and other such fears disappear into fantasy.” The world is a safe place, it’s ok to go to bed, we tell them”

We are giving our child the gift of Bitachon. It means the trust and faith that things will be OK. For much of my life, this trait/middah was my greatest challenge, I yearned for more of it. As I reassured my children, some of it rubbed off on me. But the world really is a scary place, and I worry for their safety. I yearned to have more of the trust that, in the words of the RDMLK Jr “the arc of the universe is long but it bends toward justice” or the belief in a loving G*d. The complete lack of bitachon can lead to anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. Just as this lack is crippling, can there be too much of a good thing, too much Bitachon? I think Abraham/ Avraham avinu had perfect trust, and that because it was perfect, he was flawed.

We will read in the Torah this Rosh Hashanah as we do each year of Avraham andthe binding of Isaac, of a father that almost sacrifices his son. Not just any father, but our founding father, whose name means father of nations who is traditionally identified with the property of chesed, purelove. What does this legend we read each year teach us? One thing I know with perfect bitachon, it does NOT it teach us to sacrifice our beloved children for our faith. Perhaps the essence of Judaism is , “it’s for the kinder, for the sake of the children. R Yitrz Greenberg famously writes that this is the whole point, that in amidst ancient cultures who sacrificed their children to the gods, we would not.

So who is this Avrahav Avinu? We knowfrom Genesis that he was the son of a prominent man named Terah, Did you remember that Terah was an idol maker and that the child Avram smashed his father’s idols? It’s not in Torah, you won’t find it anywhere. It’s in legends called midrash

Midrash is a collection of our legends that fill in the missing details of Torah. The midrash continues, flashback to a star in the sky that foretells the birth of a our holy renegade by advisors to the mythical king Nimrod. They tell him a boy is about to be born who would challenge his power. Nimrod then ordered the midwives to kill all the boy babies. His mother, Terah’s wife hid her pregnancy and when her time to deliver came, gave birth in a hidden cave. After a day the child spoke to her and told her to return home, that he was going to be taken care of Divinely as a servant of the Holy One! So she abandoned the child and went home. When She returned 3 weeks later, the child had grown up and had figured out there is only One G*d, that all is One. He was brought to the palace of Nimrod, where this pipsqueak of a boy indeed challenges the king’s worship of fire. You must admit, that takes confidence- bitachon. The boy argues “But the rain puts out fire, shouldn’t we worship the rain? OK, sure, said Nimrod. But the clouds make the rain, should we not worship the clouds? OK, sure said Nimrod. But the winds disperse the clouds, should we not worship the winds? OK sure, said Nimrod. But a person can resist the wind…ENOUGH, see if, your G*d will protect you now, said the Despot, and throws Avram into the furnace, and Avram survives, emerges unscathed!

Next we hear of Avram , he married a beautiful princess named Sarai he leaves the land of his birth, and his father’s house to a land that G*d would show them. Again

bitahon! Inspired to follow G*d without knowing the destination, trusting things will be OK. But Avram does NOT have perfect bitachon yet: he was not always able to keep fear away: tell them you are my sister, he said to Sarah, I’m afraid they will kill me, you are so beautiful. (I know, a terrible thing to do to Sarai, but perhaps she was the stronger of the two!) It turns out G*d was with them, and Abraham’s love and faith would grow. At Sodom, he was strong enough to put his life on the line by arguing truth to power: will not the judge of all the earth do justice? Abe challenged. And the answer: for the sake of ten righteous I will spare the city! His understanding and trust that G*d is loving, strengthens even more.

Still, he years for children, and G*d has promised him descendants as many as the sands on the shore and the stars in the sky. Isaac, whose name means laughter, was a loved, and yearned-for child.

I Imagine, Abraham and Sarah felt overwhelming love when Isaac was born -a child in their old age- past any expectations. The love must have been pure unconditional, love without boundaries

Then Abraham is “put to the test” we are told. Take your son, whom you love, Isaac, and offer him up as a burnt offering. Perhaps Avraham had perfect faith in a loving G*d that would save Isaac as he himself had been saved. And that’s the flaw. He didn’t argue, though he’d argued with Nimrod and G*d. He didn’t consult with anyone but G*d, not his wife, not Isaac, only the Donkey knew where they were going. What did he say during those three days? He tied his son on the altar, and reaches out the knife. He almost does the deed, at the very last minute his ears were opened. Avraham, Avraham! Midrash says the knife melted from the angel’s tears, not the father’s tears. Then Avraham lifts up his eyes. But was all disaster averted, Isaac lives, but separates from his father. They do not meet again until Avraham is buried. A relationship is severed. Sarah dies also, 2 relationships severed.

Avraham’s perfect trust is too great. That kind of certainty can cause Crusades, and suicide bombers.

We are not named the children of Avraham, but the children of Yisrael, A name given to Jacob when he wrestled with a “divine or human” being all night long and prevailed. A name meaning G*d-wrestler. That wrestling, and longing is a healthy, necessary thing. “when we are absolutely certain we’ve arrived we are lost”

Too much certainty that things will be just fine, leads to complacency and inaction. We lose that fear which is “reshit chochma” the beginning of wisdom. “We’ve been through troubles before, everything will be fine” we say, and go about our business.

I no longer struggle with bitachon. Now I focus on savlanut, patience 😊 It feels like a miracle to me to not have this demon on my back. To what do I credit my success. One part is my return and embrace of our heritage and connection to a loving G*d and loving community. But I am well aware the needs tikkun, repair

Activist Rabbi Jaffe writes in his book (lent to me by a friend) Changing the world from the inside out, that each of us is somewhere on a continuum of bitachon.

Activists inspire me – they help me hit the sweet spot, of bitachon.

One such person is Greta Thunberg. Born in 2002, in Sweden, she became despondent upon learning of climate change. In her despondency she stopped attending school, this depression went on for a year. She had very little bitachon. Until she found a pathway to hope: becoming a child activist. “no one is too small to make a difference” she said, and this quote is on the bottom of my syllabi at school. She sat with a sign, alone, in the snow outside the Swedish Parliament. Until more students joined, and there was an army of kids. Then covid hit. Greta advocated for equitable vaccine distribution, and her foundation donated a ton of money to that cause. Greta chides us – we need to act as though our house is on fire, she says, because it is. My own children, in their activism inspire me.

As do my friends who support me, Last summer, with Chaya’s help, New Jersey had a Jewish Climate activist voice through Dayenu, the call for climate justice. Two high school children activist, Sarah and Shawn were there, four Rabbis blew Shofar. We can all do something. Try it, along with the Shema, it may help you sleep better, help you find a sweet spot of Bitacchon

If we continue to be complacent, it is they we will suffer. We are on the mountain top, our children are in danger. Will our ears be open when the angel’s cry and call our name? Will we lift our eyes to the alternative? There is still time.

May are hearts open to the cry of the shofar, it’s calling our name.

Category:

Erev Rosh Hashanah 5783

SERMON

Do you have a nick name, pet name, are you known by different names in different settings? Perhaps you have a name only someone special calls you. My favorite nickname as a little girl was Zeiss punim, only my grandpa called me that, with such love. It means sweet face in Yiddush. For someone with an “ugly duckling” complex it was a bath of love and healing. At work I’m Professor, and I’m known as Mom to three beautiful young people. My daughter did not change her surname when she married…. Does it matter?

A poem

Years ago,

I heard about a young woman

Whose parents named her

Achzava.

She walked through the world

bearing this

unutterable weight:

“Nice to meet you, my name is Disappointment.”

She was the tenth

beautiful

girl

given to parents

who longed for a son.

Their hope died

The day she was born.

A stillbirth,

you could say,

but she was

still born –

like the rest of us —

breathing

crying

gulping for air.

When she turned 18

She changed her name.

I have always wondered

What changed then —

And what didn’t.

(Rabbi Sharon Cohen Anisfeld

President, Hebrew College)

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never harm me? Is that true? The hurtful nicknames that Children and politicians call one another perhaps show most strongly THERE IS SUCH POWER IN NAMES! You call someone’s name and they turn to you. What name would you choose for yourself if you could: a name that would reflect your essence? , I have recently fully embraced my Hebrew name, Miryam. Miryam, sister of Aaron from Torah changed bitterness “mar” into blessing with her music, and a sweet water-well Midrash teaches, followed the Israelites through the wilderness – Miriam’s well. Our parents name us, a gift reflecting their hopes and aspirations for their child. I but Miryam captures my essence! I know now that I always was, Miryam-but I’m used to Margo.

We earthlings are quintessentially namers, isn’t that what language is? In Genesis of the Torah, humans were given two tasks. Their first job in the garden is Ovda v’Shomra, to serve and to keep the Garden. And then G*d says “It is not good for the Earthling to be alone, so G*d does…what? Yes, brings all the animals to come to Adam, and to name them!

I want to talk about a naming, it comes up a lot during Services. A name that seemingly need no introduction, it’s been around for thousands of years, ladies and gentlemen I introduce: G*d!

But that word, G*d is so filled with the Baggage of childhood, and centuries of nations abusing the name in quest of their own agenda.

According to my teacher, R Marcia Prager, “G*d comes from a German word meaning the love-filled magnificent, mysterious power of creation in the cosmos” If your surname in German is Gott, it also means “goodness” hmmm, interesting.

There are of course, many names for the love-filled magnificent mysterious power of the cosmos, but you may not have realized how many, or how diverse or how much those names have changed over the eons of Jewish time and culture

Here are just a few of the many names for the Majestic, loving creative power of the universe.

HaShem, interestingly means “the Name”!

Among the most ancient is Yah, as in Halleluyah, meaning praise Yah. Spelled with just two Hebrew letters, a yud and a Hey, the hey has a dot within, meaning it should be pronounced with a breathy H sound. In the song at the sea, the Israelites sing Ozi v’zimrat Yah! Yah, you are my strength and my song!

The full four letter name of G*d Yud hey vav hey is the interweaving breath of the planet, whose name comes from existence itself – haya hoveh, y’hyeh. The Talmud says the world is sustained for the breath of children. Think of that first magical breath a newborn takes to bring oxygen deep inside. “breath of life”. This name is unpronounceable except by breathing. When we see these four letters in the Torah or prayer book we don’t try to pronounce them. 2000 years of Jewish tradition has substituted the word Adonai, so as not to invoke G*d with the power of that name, G*d forbid we take it in vain.` Adonai is often translated as “my Lord” but Adonim are also the joining pieces connecting the poles of the portable Sanctuary of the ancient Israelites, so “My Connector” might be a valid translation. In progressive communities, the letters may be rearranged to HVYH, “havayah” which is a reminder a homonym of Ahavah, love in Hebrew.

Melech – This name is used a LOT during High Holy Days. is related to the Hebrew word Malchut, which is paradoxically two opposite meanings at the same time. Often translated as king, better translated as Majesty it is at the same time the most humble of the Ten Facets of G*d of the Mystics of Kaballah, the feminine aspect, the Presence of G*d, also called Shechinah. Avinu means father. So when we sing “Avinu Malkenu, are we really calling on our Father and Malchut, Mother?

Shechina – from the word to dwell, is the Feminine, immanent, womb-like compassionate Presence.. She was banished in Deuteronomy, and boldly “resurrected” in Danny Matt’s words by the Kabbalists, who embraced Her as one of the Ten facets, incorporated into the One.

And there are so many others, at least 72 names for G*d: Ein Sof -unlimited One, Ribbono shel Olam, teacher of the world, El and Elohim, a plural name, Ruach ha-olam, many from the Bible, some from Rabbinic sources such as Talmud, as well as Kabbalah I mentioned.

The fact that there are so many names gives us a choice. I ask tonight, What is your understanding, your name, for the Holy One of Blessing, based you’re your ideals, enhanced by, intuition, heart longings and imaginings. You need not choose just one, but choose. That is a big ask in this crazy word, understandably so. But the payoff can be huge: it is the potential to have that Power in your life.

In her book “Miraculous Living” R Shoni Labowitz, Z”L” also a Buddist urges her readers to choose “what their image of G*d needs to be. So many people perpetuate the G*d image of their parents or grandparents, even though that image may not be a dynamic force, relevant to their lives. They put the God of their parents in an old box and keep it hidden in a vast mountain of …..rules. Over time, few, if any, remember the box, nearly all remember the rules. Rare are those who desire to dig deep enough to unlock the box and release G*d from the old images”

The box is filled with treasures untold

The name we choose makes a difference.

We humans, fractals of G*d, created in the Divine Image, likewise have names.

Which name reflects your essence,? Which calls to the G*d spark in you?

EACH OF US HAS A NAME by Poet Zelda, translated by Marcia Falk, Melody by Miryam-Margo Wolfson

Each of us has a name
given by God
and given by our parents

Each of us has a name
given by our stature and our smile
and given by what we wear

Each of us has a name
given by the mountains
and given by our walls

Each of us has a name
given by the stars
and given by our neighbors

Each of us has a name
given by our sins
and given by our longing

Each of us has a name
given by our enemies
and given by our love

Each of us has a name
given by our celebrations
and given by our work

Each of us has a name

Given by the sea

and given by their death

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Shabbat Sukkot, 2021/5782

September 24, 2021

Do you have a “pet name” that someone calls you that is such an intimate and knowing name, that it moves your heart just to hear it called? Every once in awhile, one of my kids calls me “Mama” instead of Mom, and it brings me back to that pure toddler love. In my dreams, my Grandpa z”l” calls me zeiss leben sweet heart in Yiddish, and I am a beloved child again. The intimate knowing of names means love, and is a them in the verses read from Torah this Shabbat, one of the links to Sukkot! The verses read on Shabbat chol ha-moed Shabbat are from Exodus 33-34. In the aftermath of the Golden calf, Moshe shatters the tablets of the First set of Tablets. It is an utter failure all around. These events are said to happen on Tisha B’av. Only when Moshe ascends the mountain a second time, on Elul first, does he have the chutzpa to ask to know G*d more deeply please, “let me see your presence!” The Goodness of the Holy One passes before Moshe, who is shielded with the palm of the Divine hand itself.

It is the story of second chances, with far more yearning and depth than any rookie try, for Moshe, G*d and the People, a new covenant Brit, 2.0 will replace the Sinai covenant, which had nothing to say about forgiveness! No terrifying smoke and fire for this second covenant, rather vision, intimate knowing, and after failure that there can be forgiveness.

The verses include the 13 attributes that we sing so many times about G*d’s forgiveness during the Holy Days are found here, and Moshe brings down the second set of tablets on Yom Kippur, BUT what is the Sukkot connection?

I found three theme words in the first SEVEN verses read this shabbat relating to Sukkot: Vision, Intimate knowing and Shielding. The first, Ra-ah is repeated 7 times in 7 verses. Seven is the number of completion and rest. Ra-ah refers to vision, the root of the word “to see”. For Sukkot, there is no hiding from the stars, rather there is vision of the sky, the ancestors, of eternity. The second theme word is Yada – to know intimately, as Moshe and the Holy One know one another’s names. and certainly sukkot as an experience is an intimate knowing of nature and thus for many, of G*d. When people lose this intimate touch, our love for nature wanes. This is dangerous, for we only protect what we love. This occurred only six times, but was so strongly reminiscent of psalm 91, where G*d protects those all who know the name of the Holy one. Adding this verse takes the intimate name knowing beyond Moshe to us, and perhaps is needed to stretch to seven, to completeness! One final and unexpected connection is in a hyperlink from the parashah to Sukkot in Exodus 33:22 v’sachoti chapi “and I will shield you with My Hand. The shield “sachoti” is from the same root as the Schach (thatch) on the Sukkah! Blew my mind! The chaf – which means palm, is related to the word kippur as G*d wipes away our mistakes.

During sukkot we gain vision, an intimate knowing, and we trust in the flimsy Schach, because it is as the hand of G*d shielding us. B’zot ani Boteach! In this I trust!

Dr Lara Lars Doan, (University of Windsor) wrote regarding Sukkot services: “This morning I felt immersed in blessings and a (virtual) mikveh of flowing joy, of welcoming community, of being genuinely seen, davening alone-together… and I left with the calls to tap into lived vulnerabilities and fragilities not as personal failings, to sit with them in the Sukkah in my heart knowing I do so not alone; charting moments of daily gratitude, and taking time to see the stars.”

Sources

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Rosh Hashanah 5782

September 6, 2021

EREV RH 2021 5722

Source page

Tonight is the new moon of Tishrei, According to Zohar, our joy begins to increase as the moon’s light brightens. The Zohar says, that Because of Israel, G&d brightens the moon’s light. The light will be brightest on the harvest festival of sukkot

But we are not there yet.

As we enter into our prayer spaces, this day we are awestruck.

Rosh Hashanah has four nicknames, each inspiring awe

Yom hadin: the Day of Judgement
Yom hazikaron: the Day of Remembrance
Yom teruah: The Day of the horn blast
Yom harat ha-olam: The day the World was Conceived

R. Alan Lew writes “This is real, and you are Completely Unprepared” – likening the sudden awareness and awe/ fear during these Holy Days to the entry of a couple about to be parents into the labor room.

Like new parents, perhaps the “labor” that precedes our own renewal is the hard word of seeking forgiveness for the wrongs and damage we have done by our less than skillful choices. But just as in childbirth there is danger, is there a danger of getting stuck in the “al chet”, in beating yourself up? Perhaps, if you are like me:

I am my own worst critic, for example:

I have always hated looking at photos of myself, particularly candids, So I don’t look. In teaching on zoom these days, however, it’s always there – your picture! So I use this neat thing the “hide self view” setting that lets you escape the stress of having to look at and judge yourself constantly

Look at this spot on the page What do you see? Didi you notice the white surrounding or just the dot

Lew writes that of all the forgiveness we are tasked with, self forgiveness is the hardest, we hold ourselves to such high standards. And this causes us to bury our mistakes, “that didn’t happen” We hide our self view!

Look harder at the black dot, there are sparks of white within

There is a verse from proverbs 34:15 Turn aside from evil and do good”

BeSHT interpreted the verse from Proverbs “to mean, “Turn evil into good”

But how can we turn our darkest traits to good ones?

It’s hard to even turn inside to really look at them.

R’ Nachman of Bratslov offers this advice: “When all we see and feel is negativity, we must search within ourselves for an aspect of goodness, the white dot within the black, and then find another and another until these dots form musical notes. Our task, he said is to find enough white notes to form a melody!

The true niggun of our soul, that sings our goodness.

R Lew continues: the Talmud tells that in the world to come, all will have to account for the desires they did not fulfill in this beautiful world. Specifically eating different types of fruit (Jerusalem Talmud, Kiddushin 4:12).

The desires themselves are G&d given, are sacred.

It’s how we act upon them, those choices, not the desire to use them that cause harm to other people.

But accepting and embracing our essence, self compassion, can lead to heart opening.

Lew suggest we ask: what do I hate most about myself? Personally, it’s impatience, and the desire to be noticed. I get excited, and talk over folks Then I feel the bitter after-taste, the self hatred that follows. How can I be so selfish, and step on other folks’ ego for the sake of my own? I may apologize, but then I get busy with something else, I end up not working on it. Lew suggests that instead, we fully inhabit, do not run away from our mistakes. And then take a moment to find the white within the dark, the Divine spark. My enthusiasm for life makes me impatient. I get so excited by an “aha”. Instead of the judgement, what if at that moment, “we opened our heart to heaven”.

What is it for you?

This is the Turning – Teshuva, that can turn us toward our essesence, our heart, and toward G&d. if a person did wrong and they return, they are held in greater esteem by the Holy One of Being than before In the place that ba’alei teshuvah [masters of return] stand, even completely righteous ones cannot stand” (Tomer Devorah1:8)

The original verse in Talmud is that Teshuva, Tefilah and Tzedakah are so powerful they can “tear up” the evil judgement, g’zerah, against us (Unetaneh Tokef)

The machzor now says

They can Maavirin et roa ha gezerah.

They transform the evil of the judgement, the roa –or perhaps it’s our perception that changes, the decree isn’t evil, it’s just how things are….

I asked myself, why is it that I hate looking at most photos of myself, in many candid shots, I’m scowling, frowning I don’t have a peaceful glow about me, I look anxious, and much too busy, it’s not what I want to see about myself. Instead of hiding my self view, what if I were more heart open during ordinary candid moments, perhaps I would transform my outlook, transform myself, then I could love myself in those pics.

Funny, when I look back at old pics, so young and healthy, I say how could I have hated these pics…?

My goal is Shiviti – to be aware that the Holy One is before me in all my experiences. That’s what it means in Deuteronomy 4:4 Atem had’vekim Adonai Eloheichem Chayim kulhem hayom! May we be written in the book of Life, Sefer Chayim

Shiviti Adonai L’negdi Tamid

G*d, I set you before me continually

I know you in the blessings that come to me each day

Sweetened by Gratitude, deepened by sharing them with You

I feel you in the spaces between me and the people I meet

Help me to know that it’s Your light that I see deep in their eyes, deep in their heart

And when I walk in wild places, my head reaching for the skies,

Give me the courage to guard and to keep your beautiful garden

And oh in the darkness, help me find the light

And when You feel so far away, that yearning’s all that’s left to me

Help me to know that the yearning’s OK,

Let it be my pathway home

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Eikev 2021: Heart opening!

July 30, 2021

Sources for this Drash on Sefaria

I believe G*d cries with us in our loss (the Zohar places G*d’s regret in the hours approaching midnight). What if the rain were G*d’s tears?

I have been to the Western Wall in Jerusalem only once, and placed one prayer in the cracks of the wall, and I the prayer was from this weeks parashah, Eikev. I prayed that G!d would remove the thickening from my heart (Deuteronomy 10:16). I’d become just fascinated by the concept of a circumcision of the heart, that if human beings, including myself, could feel more deeply, the world would not be in such a mess. If you had met me, you might not have guessed that I was in need of heart opening, I poured my love into my young daughters and into my teaching. Perhaps I always knew I had a ways to go.

Looking back I think my heart was thickened in a 3 different kinds of ways:

-Lacking full gratitude, I did not realize just how much I took for granted.

-I hadn’t yet opened to personal connection to G*d, more of a distant, Maimonidean relationship; or committed to spiritual Jewish path. The literal translation of the Hebrew (10:13) umaltem et orlat levavchem means circumcise the foreskin of your hearts! Circumcision is a sign of the covenant between G*d and the Jewish people. Nor did I often reach out-to those different from myself

-I had without knowing it, walled off my heart from childhood injury in self-protection. Although tears streamed down my face in a sad movie, I was unable to cry for real loss in my life.

It would take a couple of hard smacks from life before my heart could heal.

The theme of opening our hearts to bring tikkun repair to ourselves and the world runs through this amazing parashah in three parallel ways!

1. Gratitude: Birkat Hamazon, the blessing after a meal, is partly here. We are always yearning, hungry, But each item on your plate is grown from the earth, watered, harvested, delivered, prepared – a miracle. To stop, and really enjoy the food, is another miracle, and to really allow yourself a moment to say – wow I am satisfied! (It is easier without distractions, electronic or otherwise) I have found that even a brief blessing said with focus, or Kavannah can be transformative. Here’s my quickie Birkat Cacatuv V’achalta, v’savata, uverachta,(It is written that you shall eat, you shall be satisfied and you shall bless!)Blessed are you G*d for goodness, and holiness, for the land and for this food.

2. Open our hearts to the stranger: This is one of the most powerful versions of the oft repeat commands to love the stranger: because it is how G*d acts: 18) G*d upholds the cause of the orphan and the widow, and loves the stranger, giving them food and clothing.— (19) You too must love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.

3. What if the rain were G*d’s tears? In the same way I was grateful for my own tears, we are grateful for rainfall, which in Eikev is clearly dependent upon our ability to act in justice and to love. Unlike Egypt where slave labor irrigated farms from the Nile, The promised land drinks water gifted by the Holy one. These passages are the second paragraph of the Shema, but here the command to love G*d has moved from singular to plural, communal. The shema itself is a progression of love rippling outward from the center: beginning between your eyes and upon the heart of a person to your family/children, to the borderlines of your home, across your gates, and into the outside world, where, earlier we learn to love the stranger. It is parallel to the journey from Mitzrayim, the narrow straits, to the wide skies of freedom.

All depends on water, water is life. What if the rain were G*d’s tears, and they are turning to floods because of our heartlessness, or beyond G*d’s capacity for tears, so like me G*d could not cry at all. What if this were the spiritual source of climate change?

I wrote the song Water planet in June, inspired by the text and associated meditations from Rabbi Jill Hammer’s Return to the Place: The Magic, Meditation, and Mystery of Sefer Yetzirah (I studied with Rabbi Jill in June of this year at Yeshivat Romemu)

Water planet from the Breath of Life

Dazzling blue suspended in the night,

If we could hold it as Holy One might

We would feel the fluttering of life’s wings

How fragile our lonely home world seems

Our heart–beats sending lifeblood that we need

To heal the suffering our callous actions bring

To turn the sad melody G*d’s tears sing.

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Va’etchanan 2021 Sources page

Va’etchanan 2021: Rav L’cha, you have so much!

July 23, 2021

It’s good to have goals. Perhaps you share some of mine. On a personal level, to make it through each day with as much grace as possible . A bit longer term goal of a successful term, graduation, smicha one day G!d willing. Longer term, I share with many of you, the goal of nudging the world to be a bit more just, and kind. And then Life happens Stuff gets in the way. Sometimes my default response to obstacles is “oh no!!” at which pointTorah proceeds to collide with and inform my life.

The parasha is Va’etchanan, meaning “and he asked for an extra dose of Grace” – Chen/Chanun. our hero Moses is pleading with G*d.

“Let me please cross over and see the good land on the other side of the Jordan,”

G*d’s answer to Moses is NO! Oh the frustration!

The midrash compares Moses to a woman who was courted by the King to marry him and then he dumps her – just as they’re at the Promised land. I imagine Moses saying: I’ve worked so hard, G*d, this 40 day journey that took 40 years! Must I die just before the happy ending?

The Ohr HaChayim explains: it’s Joshua’s time, and these are lifetime appointments . Another compensation -when Moses lifts his eyes to see the land G’d would allow the vision of his eyes to fulfill his dreams. (Which kind of reminds me of all the zoom weddings, and b’ nei mitzvahs we saw during COVID. Oy!)

The reason that G!d gives for denying Moses entry is fascinating: RAV L’CHAH: you have so much! Rashi says it means Moses will get more in the after-life. I disagree, and imagine I conversation I might have with Moses: “Dude you’re talking to the Creative force of the Universe, at this very moment! Wrapped in holiness and love, connecting heaven to earth, teaching Torah such as “love your near one as Yourselves”, the envy of any spiritual seeker. YOU’RE ALREADY THERE, there can be no higher destination!”

Last week we read that Caleb was allowed entry to the land, because he remained fulfilled after his G*d encounter. Last Shabbat, we read Isaiah’s vision that the whole earth was filled with G*d’s Glory, that we should see and cherish the holiness of the world, and then work to make it true. So instead of panicking at a challenge, I took a deep breath, I quieted my mind. I felt I was surrounded by Love and Truth, part of an infinite One-ness that is G*d. What a gift this seeking and then feeling and sharing! Like Moses, I was already there! Where can we find this breath and quiet to find our way? These answers for me lie in the parashah. The first is Shabbat, a time to exhale our worries, a day to stop our acquiring and just be free.

The second is : Shema Yisrael: Listen up You G!d wrestlers: V’ahavta we shall love, we are here to add our love to the world. And coincidentally, tomorrow night begins tuB’av the holiday of Love, and ultimate joy. And yet, it’s good to have goals, and it hurts not to reach our goals.

To my friend who died too young did not live to see her brilliant daughter graduate, to so many like her I can only offer the following:

the time is short, the work is great. Pirkei avot tells us– We may not get to finish the work, but the Shema teaches that we can add more love to our little part of the world, with the time we have. Speaking only For myself, knowing tomorrow is not guaranteed, scary as that is, has liberated me to follow my heart’s dream. My blessing for you: may you love, be liberated, take a deep breath, and know, whether you meet your goals or fall short: Rav L’chah, or Rav Lach you have so much!

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D’varim 2021: Vision

July 15, 2021

This week’s parashah, Devarim, contains one of my favorite verses in Torah: “And in the wilderness you saw how the Holy One, your G!d lifted you us as a man carries his child” Deuteronomy 1:21

G!d lifts us up so we can see, has carried us from slavery “on eagles wings” from Mitzrayim to a land where a vision of Truth, Justice and Peace form the framework which supports the world! Pirke Avot 1:18

Sources linked here.

This coming Shabbat is Shabbat Hazon, the Shabbat of vision, the one before Tisha B’av, that day of emotional descent, recognizing the brokenness, for the sake of ascent and tikkun, repair. What is vision created for? On Shabbat chazon, we begin to envision healing!

This parashah also contains the retelling of the saga of the scouting of the land. This is the sin for which the Israelites become condemned to die in the wilderness, and the first historic tragedy which occurs on Tisha B’av. But why this sin, why not the golden calf, for example? A parable from the Zohar explains: there once was a father who carried his son on his shoulders during their journey. Whenever they met someone, the son asked the stranger if he had seen his father. In other words it is the ultimate lack of vision, and faith. Back to the Torah, verse 27 describes the Israelite’s reactions when ten of the twelve leaders sent to seek out and explore the promised land bring back this report: . (They) murmured in your tents and said, “It is because G!d hates us that G!d brought us out of the land of Egypt, to smash us! (28) …. Our brothers have melted our hearts, saying, ‘We saw there a people stronger than us, huge cities with walls sky-high, and Giants lived there.’ Nature abhors a vacuum, I imagine the Israelites murmuring in their darkened tents/ with bubbles of lies and fear forcing the light and faith to go whooshing out of their tents, this darkness creating a tear in the fabric of our People’s story in space and time.(More on this, 2017 Linked here.)

All except Joshua and Caleb, who remained filled after their G!d-encounter, who remained optimistic, and kept their faith

On this day as we approach Shabbat of vision, let us light candles from our hope, truth and faith, and let this light shine and spark other souls to let them shine, to repair and to heal!

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